User:Doc martin/players - Revision history

82.34.41.249: /* Strikers */

2006-08-27T17:19:55Z

Strikers

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:19, 27 August 2006
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	==Strikers==		==Strikers==

	~~===Diogo Machado, Brazil, 20===~~
	When Diogo arrived from Petrossian Espo for £29,334 he was recommended by Brazilian legend Bebeto over the phone to Doc martin. It was only after he arrived that the club found out he’s never seen a football. But he works hard, honest!!

	===Luciano Paauwe, The Netherlands, 18===		===Luciano Paauwe, The Netherlands, 18===
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	===Miladin Vilotijević, Sweden, 18===		===Miladin Vilotijević, Sweden, 18===

	Purchased from Styrian Struggle, Miladian is an enigma. Off the field he dresses in a black cloak and sulks around insulting people and pushing grannies down lift shafts. On the field he does pretty much the same, but dresses in the club strip.		Purchased from Styrian Struggle, Miladian is an enigma. Off the field he dresses in a black cloak and sulks around insulting people and pushing grannies down lift shafts. On the field he does pretty much the same, but dresses in the club strip.

	===~~Thomas Börjesson~~, ~~Sweden~~, 20===		===Toni Seilheimer, Germany ,20===
	~~Big Tom grew up in a commune near Stockholm~~. He ~~spent his early years walking round~~ a ~~field pretending to be a reindeer. Under his tutelage, his team~~ of ~~beasts became the Swedish Reindeer football champions for 2 years running, the first time the feat had been achieved for nearly 30 years. When his time~~ came to ~~leave his home, he chose football over animals. A few years later he was bought from allby FC by Doc Martin for £6,670~~.		Everybody hates Tony. He signed from Redfrog United for 90,000 and brought with him a legion of people who came just to boo him.

	===Tranquillo Ledermann, Switzerland, 18===		===Tranquillo Ledermann, Switzerland, 18===

82.34.41.249: /* Wingers */

2006-08-27T17:16:11Z

Wingers

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:16, 27 August 2006
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	===Baltasar Sánchez, Spain, 19===		===Baltasar Sánchez, Spain, 19===
	Baltasar was brought in by Doc martin for £41,330 from Shevchenko to rule the wings of Div VI. He didn’t. He did however get at least 6 local women pregnant so all his wages go on child support.		Baltasar was brought in by Doc martin for £41,330 from Shevchenko to rule the wings of Div VI. He didn’t. He did however get at least 6 local women pregnant so all his wages go on child support.

	~~===James MacFeat, England, 23===~~
	When MacFeat leaves VGPS, The Land of Idiot Bowl will crumble. This is because his dad’s chip van is supporting the north stand. He was playing for the club from day 1, and although he saw better wingers come in, he has outlasted nearly all of them. Mainly because no bugger will buy him.

	===Joaquín Gerez, Argentina, 25===		===Joaquín Gerez, Argentina, 25===
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	===Jonathan Gunn, England, 22===		===Jonathan Gunn, England, 22===
	Jon Gunn failed every exam he took at school. His parents had never told him what his own name was and so couldn’t write it on the exam papers. He left home to make is fortune, with tales of a city paved in gold down south. Sadly he couldn’t operate the ticket machines, so ended up playing at the club round the corner, Village Green Preservation Society.		Jon Gunn failed every exam he took at school. His parents had never told him what his own name was and so couldn’t write it on the exam papers. He left home to make is fortune, with tales of a city paved in gold down south. Sadly he couldn’t operate the ticket machines, so ended up playing at the club round the corner, Village Green Preservation Society.


	==Strikers==		==Strikers==

82.34.41.249: /* Midfielders */

2006-08-27T17:14:39Z

Midfielders

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:14, 27 August 2006
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	===Francis Perraudin, England, 20 ===		===Francis Perraudin, England, 20 ===
	The Perraudin family lived in a 4 bed semi near Holmes Chapel. His father changed the family name from Perrin in 1984 because he had an unfortunate likeness to Lenard Rossiter. From then on the family all pretended to have descended from exiled French Aristocracy.		The Perraudin family lived in a 4 bed semi near Holmes Chapel. His father changed the family name from Perrin in 1984 because he had an unfortunate likeness to Lenard Rossiter. From then on the family all pretended to have descended from exiled French Aristocracy.

			===Gert Madsen, Denmark, 17===
			Mad Gert enjoys three things in life, playing football, eating raw meat and listerning to his hairdryer. Gert spends most of this wages of hairdryers which is strange because he is bald. He signed from FC Antidote for £1,334.

			===Juan Luis Matía, Spain, 19===
			Coming in from Transylvania Ber for £333,334 Juan Luis loves playing on Hattrick because he tends to sleep from 3pm to 4.30 so is unable to play in normal leagues.

	===Merv Cowan, Canada, 38===		===Merv Cowan, Canada, 38===

82.34.41.249: /* Defenders */

2006-08-27T17:08:49Z

Defenders

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:08, 27 August 2006
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	===Matthew Madeley, England, 21===		===Matthew Madeley, England, 21===
	Matthew Madeley doesn’t like to speak of his father. His mother was a young television researcher who was seduced by television legend Richard at a xmas party. When not being VGPS’s most promising defender, he spends his time calling up Richard and Judy competitions just hoping to talk to the father that has disowned him.		Matthew Madeley doesn’t like to speak of his father. His mother was a young television researcher who was seduced by television legend Richard at a xmas party. When not being VGPS’s most promising defender, he spends his time calling up Richard and Judy competitions just hoping to talk to the father that has disowned him.

			===Zheng Choon Hui, USA, 25===
			Zheng 'Name That' Choon Hui was Reno's 8th cheapest Dean Martin impersonator before he choose to bring his football career to England. He signed from Real Quelch for £142,670.

	==Midfielders==		==Midfielders==

82.34.41.249: /* Midfielders */

2006-08-27T17:05:25Z

Midfielders

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:05, 27 August 2006
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	==Midfielders==		==Midfielders==

	===Abad Araníbar, Bolivia, 20===		===Abad Araníbar, Bolivia, 22===
	Abad was discovered by Christian Missionaries. Such was the magic in the little boy’s boots; they gave up their quest to convert as many natives as they good and formed a cartel of football agents. Aranibar was brought in to add a bit of steel to the midfield. He arrived from Barrio OsoRio for a fee of £8,334.		Abad was discovered by Christian Missionaries. Such was the magic in the little boy’s boots; they gave up their quest to convert as many natives as they good and formed a cartel of football agents. Aranibar was brought in to add a bit of steel to the midfield. He arrived from Barrio OsoRio for a fee of £8,334.

	===Augustus Kan , The Netherlands, 28===		===Augustus Kan , The Netherlands, 30===
	Augustus ‘King’ Kan has worked his strange sort of magic in the midfield and defence of VGPS. As a boy he was a yo-yo fanatic until an unfortunate incident on his 11th birthday with a goldfish and his aunt meant he never touched another yo-yo again. He arrived from FC weetniet for £13,334.		Augustus ‘King’ Kan has worked his strange sort of magic in the midfield and defence of VGPS. As a boy he was a yo-yo fanatic until an unfortunate incident on his 11th birthday with a goldfish and his aunt meant he never touched another yo-yo again. He arrived from FC weetniet for £13,334.

	~~===Denis Brühwiler, Switzerland, 22===~~		===Francis Perraudin, England, 20 ===
	Brought up by a cuckoo clock and a Toblerone bar, Young Dennis first became interested in the beautiful game when as a teenager, Marc Hottinger visited his mountain. The midfield dynamo joined from from Vazeli for £1,337

	===Francis Perraudin, England, 18 ===
	The Perraudin family lived in a 4 bed semi near Holmes Chapel. His father changed the family name from Perrin in 1984 because he had an unfortunate likeness to Lenard Rossiter. From then on the family all pretended to have descended from exiled French Aristocracy.		The Perraudin family lived in a 4 bed semi near Holmes Chapel. His father changed the family name from Perrin in 1984 because he had an unfortunate likeness to Lenard Rossiter. From then on the family all pretended to have descended from exiled French Aristocracy.

	===Merv Cowan, Canada, 36===		===Merv Cowan, Canada, 38===
	Ol’ Merv is the father figure of the VGPS dressing room. He often is seen handing out the Werther’s originals to his colleagues. Seen by many as past it when he arrived from FC CLUJ for £6,670, his energy, experience and goal scoring exploits quickly won him fans.		Ol’ Merv is the father figure of the VGPS dressing room. He often is seen handing out the Werther’s originals to his colleagues. Seen by many as past it when he arrived from FC CLUJ for £6,670, his energy, experience and goal scoring exploits quickly won him fans.

	~~===Rurik Paloheimo, Finland, 20 ===~~		===Sebastião Chibante, Portugal, 22===
	When Rurik saw his first car, he ran away crying. This crushed the dreams of his parents who wanted him to become a World Rally champion. At school, while all the other boys were practising their cornering drift, Rurik was alone in the playground playing football with the wall. Rurik still does not own a car and cycles from him house to the club. Having lacked friends at school and being self-righteous in his cycling has led him to being the most head-butted of the current team. He arrived at The Land of Idiot Bowl from fc naurupi for £6,670.

	===Sebastião Chibante, Portugal, 20===
	According to Seb’s mother, his father was a freedom fighter from the future, sent back 40 years to protect her from an evil robot by Sebastião from a post apocalyptic future. That robot went on to become Prime Minister of Italy. According to the neighbours, Seb’s father was the local priest who was seduced by Seb’s 16 year old mother. Obviously Seb was the laughing stock of his village and responded by smacking footballs at those who mocked him. He was forced to leave town after causing more injuries that the doctor could handle. He arrived from RedTeam01 for £16,670.		According to Seb’s mother, his father was a freedom fighter from the future, sent back 40 years to protect her from an evil robot by Sebastião from a post apocalyptic future. That robot went on to become Prime Minister of Italy. According to the neighbours, Seb’s father was the local priest who was seduced by Seb’s 16 year old mother. Obviously Seb was the laughing stock of his village and responded by smacking footballs at those who mocked him. He was forced to leave town after causing more injuries that the doctor could handle. He arrived from RedTeam01 for £16,670.

	===Xaco Castro, Spain, 20===		===Xaco Castro, Spain, 22===
	Xaco has almost repaid the faith in him shown by Doc Martin Much was hoped of Xaco when VGPS paid £21,334 to accipiter fc for his services, but he has spent season after season playing reserve matches. Much of the criticism is aimed at his love of fine wines by the barrel load.		Xaco has almost repaid the faith in him shown by Doc Martin Much was hoped of Xaco when VGPS paid £21,334 to accipiter fc for his services, but he has spent season after season playing reserve matches. Much of the criticism is aimed at his love of fine wines by the barrel load.

	==Wingers==		==Wingers==

82.34.41.249: /* Defenders */

2006-08-27T17:01:40Z

Defenders

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:01, 27 August 2006
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	===Alain Nguyen-The, Belguim, 33===		===Alain Nguyen-The, Belguim, 33===
	Le Grand Alain as he calls himself was brought in as a rock to base the VGPS defence on. He was picked up from Los Peters for £47,330. The Alain has patented several designs of balloon animal.		Le Grand Alain as he calls himself was brought in as a rock to base the VGPS defence on. He was picked up from Los Peters for £47,330. The Alain has patented several designs of balloon animal.


	===Ernesto Andrade, Portugal, 21===		===Ernesto Andrade, Portugal, 21===
	Costing £131,330 from franzdoria, Ernesto became the club’s record signing when he signed up to join the defence of Village Green Preservation Society. His favourite TV show is Zorro, The Gay Blade, and Ernesto is often seen in a verity of colourful costumes protecting the oppressed people of Horwich.		Costing £131,330 from franzdoria, Ernesto became the club’s record signing when he signed up to join the defence of Village Green Preservation Society. His favourite TV show is Zorro, The Gay Blade, and Ernesto is often seen in a verity of colourful costumes protecting the oppressed people of Horwich.

	~~===Christiaan Rietema, Belgium, 33===~~

	~~An old head on old shoulders. Rietema spent the first 10 years of his life locked in the tower of a medieval castle watching Bobby Moore videos. He came from govinda united, costing £26,670.~~

	===Glenn Bertram, Belguim, 19===		===Glenn Bertram, Belguim, 19===

82.34.41.249: /* Keepers */

2006-08-27T17:01:25Z

Keepers

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:01, 27 August 2006
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	==Keepers==		==Keepers==

	~~===Patrick Zechner, Italy, 31===~~
	Brought in from ROVERSISSIMI in season 25 for £1,334. Before the arrival of Wheatley, Zechner contested the number 1 spot with Liard. Now plays in the B team and provides cover for the Wheatley. Zechner has been employed as a body double for Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider 2 game.

	===Neil Liard, England, 31===		===Neil Liard, England, 31===

82.34.41.249: /* Keepers */

2006-08-27T17:00:21Z

Keepers

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:00, 27 August 2006
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	Brought in from ROVERSISSIMI in season 25 for £1,334. Before the arrival of Wheatley, Zechner contested the number 1 spot with Liard. Now plays in the B team and provides cover for the Wheatley. Zechner has been employed as a body double for Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider 2 game.		Brought in from ROVERSISSIMI in season 25 for £1,334. Before the arrival of Wheatley, Zechner contested the number 1 spot with Liard. Now plays in the B team and provides cover for the Wheatley. Zechner has been employed as a body double for Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider 2 game.

	===Neil Liard, England, 29===		===Neil Liard, England, 31===
	Brought in from Tatton Sykes for £1,337 in season 25. Due to miscommunications, both Zechner and Liard came in at the same time. Liard cost an extra £3 and that eventually extra quality was the difference as Liard established himself as the 1st choice for the team. Liard wanted to be a goalkeeper after seeing Sylvester Stalone in Escape To Victory.		Brought in from Tatton Sykes for £1,337 in season 25. Due to miscommunications, both Zechner and Liard came in at the same time. Liard cost an extra £3 and that eventually extra quality was the difference as Liard established himself as the 1st choice for the team. Liard wanted to be a goalkeeper after seeing Sylvester Stalone in Escape To Victory.

	===Andy Wheatley, England, 22===		===Andy Wheatley, England, 24===
	Wheatley rose through the youth team ranks to stake his claim on the No. 1 Jersey for the first team. His love of strawberry iced doughnuts has made the local branch of Greggs the most profitable in Greater Manchester.		Wheatley rose through the youth team ranks to stake his claim on the No. 1 Jersey for the first team. His love of strawberry iced doughnuts has made the local branch of Greggs the most profitable in Greater Manchester.

82.34.41.249: /* Defenders */

2006-08-27T16:59:57Z

Defenders

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:59, 27 August 2006
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	==Defenders==		==Defenders==

	===Alain Nguyen-The, Belguim, 31===		===Alain Nguyen-The, Belguim, 33===
	Le Grand Alain as he calls himself was brought in as a rock to base the VGPS defence on. He was picked up from Los Peters for £47,330. The Alain has patented several designs of balloon animal.		Le Grand Alain as he calls himself was brought in as a rock to base the VGPS defence on. He was picked up from Los Peters for £47,330. The Alain has patented several designs of balloon animal.


			===Ernesto Andrade, Portugal, 21===
			Costing £131,330 from franzdoria, Ernesto became the club’s record signing when he signed up to join the defence of Village Green Preservation Society. His favourite TV show is Zorro, The Gay Blade, and Ernesto is often seen in a verity of colourful costumes protecting the oppressed people of Horwich.

	===Christiaan Rietema, Belgium, 33===		===Christiaan Rietema, Belgium, 33===
	~~An old head on old shoulders. Rietema spent the first 10 years of his life locked in the tower of a medieval castle watching Bobby Moore videos. He came from govinda united, costing £26,670.~~

	===~~Ernesto Andrade~~, ~~Portugal~~, 19===		An old head on old shoulders. Rietema spent the first 10 years of his life locked in the tower of a medieval castle watching Bobby Moore videos. He came from govinda united, costing £26,670.
	~~Costing £131,330 from franzdoria, Ernesto became~~ the ~~club’s record signing when he signed up to join~~ the defence ~~of Village Green Preservation Society~~. ~~His favourite TV show is Zorro~~, ~~The Gay Blade~~, ~~and Ernesto is often seen in a verity of colourful costumes protecting the oppressed people of Horwich~~.
			===Glenn Bertram, Belguim, 19===
			Glenn came into the replace Christian Reitema in the Belgium dominated defence. Before signing for the club for a record £356,000, he was Chuck Norris.

	===Grant Lock, England, 21===		===Grant Lock, England, 23===
	Lock has provided defensive cover for Village Green for a number of seasons. It has been rumoured that he has been blackmailing Doc Martin because no other good reason can be suggested for him still being here.		Lock has provided defensive cover for Village Green for a number of seasons. It has been rumoured that he has been blackmailing Doc Martin because no other good reason can be suggested for him still being here.

	===Ko Eilert, The Netherlands, 30===		===Ko Eilert, The Netherlands, 32===
	Form may be temporary, but class is permanent. This explains why Ko has only had limited opportunities in the first squad. He has popped up at wingback, centre-half and in midfield. Ko’s goal scoring feats have kept him in the squad. Eilert’s father runs a chain of nudist colonies. He was one of Doc Martin’s first purchases from Donkey Fighters costing £32,667		Form may be temporary, but class is permanent. This explains why Ko has only had limited opportunities in the first squad. He has popped up at wingback, centre-half and in midfield. Ko’s goal scoring feats have kept him in the squad. Eilert’s father runs a chain of nudist colonies. He was one of Doc Martin’s first purchases from Donkey Fighters costing £32,667

	===Matthew Madeley, England, 19===		===Matthew Madeley, England, 21===
	Matthew Madeley doesn’t like to speak of his father. His mother was a young television researcher who was seduced by television legend Richard at a xmas party. When not being VGPS’s most promising defender, he spends his time calling up Richard and Judy competitions just hoping to talk to the father that has disowned him.		Matthew Madeley doesn’t like to speak of his father. His mother was a young television researcher who was seduced by television legend Richard at a xmas party. When not being VGPS’s most promising defender, he spends his time calling up Richard and Judy competitions just hoping to talk to the father that has disowned him.

82.34.41.249: /* Miladin Vilotijević, Sweden, 18 */

2006-04-16T18:51:46Z

Miladin Vilotijević, Sweden, 18

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:51, 16 April 2006
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	===Miladin Vilotijević, Sweden, 18===		===Miladin Vilotijević, Sweden, 18===

	Purchased from Styrian Struggle, Miladian is an enigma. Off the field he dresses in a black cloak and sulks around insulting people and pushing grannies down lift shafts. On the field be does pretty much the same, but dresses in the club strip.		Purchased from Styrian Struggle, Miladian is an enigma. Off the field he dresses in a black cloak and sulks around insulting people and pushing grannies down lift shafts. On the field he does pretty much the same, but dresses in the club strip.

	===Thomas Börjesson, Sweden, 20===		===Thomas Börjesson, Sweden, 20===