Glen Cove Thistle

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Glen Cove Thistle (243058)
Managed by Zirconrab
Club information
LocationStrathclyde Scotland
ArenaCobains Brain Matter Plaza
Fan ClubGlen Coe Jays

Club Info

Zirconrab took over the club in season 9 when the club was in the lowly depths of Series IV.17, after moulding his side into a proper unit he managed to win back to back titles before promoting into a tough series III.

Realising there was more work to do when the club unfortunetly relegated back into series IV. Zirconrab quickly set about creating a team that would compete in Scottish football. When Glen Cove won the IV.28 championship in season 16 it was the start of a remarkable four championships in a row, which saw the club play off for a place in the SPL twice.

Currently in season 20 in II.4.

Never plays best players in cup so always suffer early exit. two fifth round matches the clubs best.

Behind The Badge

When Zirconrab spoke with his artistic sister to produce a club badge, he set down some guidelines. They stated that the badge must be "Red, black and yellow in main colour, and include the name Glen Cove Thistle and the nickname Glen Coe Jags." When the artist returned with the mis-read Jags becoming Jays, Some thought the artist a failure, however. The addition of those two bluejays appealed to Zirconrab greatly and led to the offical nickname changing to Jays although many fans still call them the Jags. Club owners from across the world have said the badge is excellent.

Behind The Name

Although part of the name has been explained above Jags change into Jays. The other part of the name also has a story Coe is scottish-english as opposed to Cove. As a English speaking Scotsman Zirconrab named the club in the same way that AC Milan is known even in Italy as Milan despite the fact it should be in Italian as AC Milano.

Tactics and Coaching

Glen Coe have always wanted to use an attacking passing game but in season 9 when Zirconrab took over the ashes of Kirton boys club on 25th Dec 2003. The original Tactics were Defensive using 4-4-2 and 5-4-1 with pressing and counter attacks to little avail However this changed when Ed Luther was brought in on the 16th feb 2004 this Canadian an Inadequate skilled coach who brought in two young Americans Gil Combs and Johnie Mark for a total of Just £1,334. He also switched the training from General and Defending to a more controlled Playmaking. and adopted a fulltime formation of 4-5-1 through season 10 and part of season 11 until he was replaced by Spaniard Jose Maria Hernandez a Passable skilled trainer who on his first day Signed Steffen Kraushaar. Jose finished season 11 as runner-up just s Ed Luther had done but Going into season 12 he switched the formation to 3-5-2. And incredibly won the title by two points from Champions Pathetico Madrid after a 4-2 win at the CBMP.

Zirconrab then appointed the solid coaching skill of philipino Manuel Salvador Escuder who went on to defend the title in season 13 with Glens only perfect season of 14 wins from 14 including 7-1 and 4-1 wins over a shell-shocked Pathetico who could not handle the Attack n the Middle tacics. However although he trained up Mark and Kraushaar to Tianic and Brought through youngsters like Nelson and sold on the likes of Combs and Vanniemenus for around £3.5 total. He could not keep the side in III.4 after two tough seasons ended up in IV.28 which to his credit he still managed to win on the last day with just 31 points. He was moved on but he did bring in many quality players such as Schuneritsch, Boland, Grinde and Arfe. He had stuck fast to the 3-5-2 and had been found out by MOTS all home games in III and PIC in all away games. He is In the Hall of Fame along with Kraushaar and Mark

Zirconrab now in season 17 III.13 brought in the talented SOLID/SOLID coach for 1.7 million from Sweden called Levi Gustavsson the first top class coach at the club. He was also the first one who prefered all out attack. He took the Squad and brought in just a player or two such as Knasiak. he also switched formations between 3-5-2 and 3-4-3 trained passing and stamina as well to maximise the squad better un like any other coach before him. Tactically he keeps the team in normal but is not scared to press, AIM or AOW if needed and also is far wiser in use of PIC or MOTS matches.

The Players

Every player that wears a Glen Cove shirt famously says a Kurt Cobain lyric.

Hall of Famed Players

Only two players have been Hall of famed Steffen Kraushaar and Johnie Mark both players came to the club as 17yr olds a season apart.

Steffen Kraushaar was bought from German side Lahmner Haufen for £40,000 wih a TSI of 730 and Playmaking skill of Inadequate with Inadequate passing. He went on to Play 104 competitive games for Glen Coe and reached an 8 star rating and TSI of 169,830. He wore the Number 7 shirt and his records, until recently were second only to Johnie Mark.

Johnie Mark was picked up for £667 from American side Los Angeles with a TSI of 180, and a playmaking skill of Inadequate with Weak passing. He played in 136 competitive matches and reached 8 and a half stars rating and TSI of 263,780 all three are Club records. He wore the number 6 shirt.

Both players having served time in the reserves went on to be the partnership of dreams as their first full season together lead to the IV.17 title. They went on to win all titles together in seasons 12,13,16,17 and 18. However due to horrific injuries Steffen kraushaar retired -aged just 26- from season 19 and missed the medal which Mark picked up.

Johnie Mark himself then played into season 20 until week 5. But at 27 with wages of £125,000 retired due to the club not being able to sustain him and his desire to play for no other club but "The One"

Kraushaar finished with Mythical playmaking and passable passing, and Mark was a Magical playmaker with Inadequate passing.

No players have worn Numbers 6 or 7 since. And it's rumoured both numbers will also be retired some time in the near future.

Current Star Players

Although for Glens to continue to win, many good players are needed at the club such as Klaudiusz Knasiak, Marcus Grinde, Pius Brechbuhler, Callum Nelson, Andrea Arfe, Reno Boland, Tan Kim Noun, Alpin MacGilchrist and Anders Ramblad a few have done so well or loved by the fans that the simply become 'star' players.

They are Nils-Petter Adolfsson Jerry Goedhart and Florian Schuneritsch.

Adolfsson was bought two seasons after Kraushaar as a 17 yr old Inadequate playmaker with passable passing. his TSI was 620 and the price payed to his swedish club Ronneholm Island was £68,008. He played along side Kraushaar and Mark and completed the Inner Mid Trio which for a time dominated Glen Cove Thistles league opponents, bu twith those playes gone it is this swedish star who now holds the future of this club at his feet. He wears number 5 is 24 and currently has a best ever TSI of 130,050.

Goedhart was an emergency signing after Kraushaar picked up his 3rd injury of season 19 and retired. So the 157,340 TSI Dutchman came in from Demacro of Holland for £394,000 however he stared in the 3-3 draw away at Rivals Athletico Newington to clinch the title by a point, He then played in the 3-3 draw and penalty loss in the SPL play-off with Pipers. Due to the fans desire to see him stay for season 20, a deal was done and he was the new star of the park along side Adolfsson. But he picked up a 7 week injury to a vicious callenge from Harry Young of Celtic Vikings 16 minutes into a week 8 match. Glens still managed to win 3-1, However If he is to go the way of Kraushaar and retire reamains to be seen. "I want to play for this club" he is sais to have shouted at the Club doctor who suggested retirement. He is 27 and wears the number 15 and until his injury had a TSI of 177,000.

Schuneritsch This Striker with a set piece of the highest order was brought in after the relegation from III.4 to IV.28 for £966,667 from Fc Fisker of Denmark when his TSI was 2,280. He has helped bring Glens the 4-in-a-row which they still try to add too. The German Forward who won a scoring title in Denmark also won the soring title in III.13 with 17 goals in Scotland season 17 he then finished 3rd in II.4 the following season. He does not always get a start due to Glens sometimes playing just two and sometimes three forwards and he misses out behind Arfe (£1.3m) and Knasiak (£1.6m) signings but its due to his dead ball skills and better goals to transfer ratio that makes him a firm favourite of the Jags fans. He is 26 wears number 10 and currently has a TSI of 6,120.

Youth Players + Trainee Players

Many good players have belonged to both categories but we will stick only to the current side. The Top Youth Players are Nevin Crum and Pius Brechbuhler both are young and 100% trainees. Both players are already tippd to be of a skill far better than Kraushaar and Mark they are the first pair of multi skillers from Glen Cove of which Pius is clearly the better with Brilliant playmaking and excellent passing.

watch this space!


The Club captain is Andrew MacFall and the Vice Captain Is Anders Ramblad In the event of neither of these players playing Other respeted players who can lead the team out are Alpin MacGilchrist, Tan Kim Noun, Reno Boland and Marcus Grinde.


With a capacity of 67,200 the stadium was named after Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain who allegedly shot himself in the head.

The stadium plays Teen Spirit as the teams emerge from the tunnel.

Club Honours

  • Division II.PNG Series Champions II.4 season 19
  • Division II.PNG Series Champions II.4 season 18
  • Division III.PNG Series Champions III.13 season 17
  • Division IV.PNG Series Champions IV.28 season 16
  • Division IV.PNG Series Champions IV.17 season 13
  • Division IV.PNG Series Champions IV.17 season 12

Season League Records

                        PLD   W  D  L   F  A  GD  PTS  POS.
        Season 19 II.4   14   8  4  2  39 22 +17   28  1st
        Season 18 II.4   14  10  2  2  43 22 +21   32  1st
        Season 17 III.13 14  12  0  2  49 26 +23   36  1st
        Season 16 IV.28  14   9  4  1  30 10 +20   31  1st
        Season 15 III.4  14   2  6  6  23 34 -11   12  7th
        Season 14 III.4  14   6  0  8  22 33 -11   18  5th
        Season 13 IV.17  14  14  0  0  63  6 +57   42  1st
        Season 12 IV.17  14  12  1  1  60 11 +49   37  1st
        Season 11 IV.17  14  11  2  1  30  8 +22   35  2nd
        Season 10 IV.17  14  11  1  2  47 11 +36   34  2nd
        Season  9 IV.17   8   3  0  5  12 26 -14    9  5th*

  • took over club 6 weeks into season so results not under Zirconrab ownership removed from record.