Spamming Spammers

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Revision as of 22:43, 19 May 2010 by Mr Wednesday (talk | contribs) (Quite a bit better than the lowest division these days.)
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The Spamming Spammers are an unimportant team in division III of the USA. They were founded on June 1st, 2007 by an impatient manager with two previous failed teams under his belt. Whether this one will go anywhere remains to be seen but it has already been a bigger success than the previous two.

Team history

  • Getting started
    • After taking over midway through season 32 the management decided training keepers would be a good way to get a competent team on the field. A reasonably priced 18 year old Chile named Javier Udaeta was purchased for a mere $43,000 to be the starting keeper. Nothing interesting happened the rest of the season and the Spammers ended up finishing 5th in the series while filling the team with cheap mercenaries to keep them reasonably competitive.
  • Always a bridesmaid
    • Season 33 was the first full season under the new management and would immediately prove to be much more eventful than season 32. When the season started with a cup match several players appeared noticeably younger than they were at the end of last season. Two of those players were the club's keeper trainees: Javier Udaeta and Hu Hangping. How they found the fountain of youth remains a mystery but the 6 weeks of extra youth was a welcome surprise. Another surprise was the team's performance. After getting blown out in the cup and losing two of the first four games another mid table finish seemed inevitable. Instead they won 6 of the final 10 matches and ended up with 30 points and 2nd place. Real Pudge had a perfect 42 points and promoted to division V leaving the title up for grabs in season 34.
  • History repeats itself
    • The next season looked like it would be a three way fight for first between stinkyfeet, OAKLAND DYNAMITES, and Spamming Spammers. All three teams performed very well. Each one finished with over 30 points and huge goal differentials in their favor but stinkyfeet came out on top despite losing both matches to the Spamming Spammers. A shocking loss in the second week to the young Cambridge Football Club along with disappointing draws against groupo extreme (later FC Prestonburg) kept it from being a potentially great season. stinkyfeet went on to lose his qualifier so season 35 was likely to be the same as season 34. Spamstastic forward Björn Hagfeldt was the series leading scorer. The first and only time in club history that a Spammer has received that award.
  • History repeats itself again
    • Despite a season opening loss to main rival stinkyfeet, everything seemed to be going well for the Spammers in season 35. Five consecutive wins followed and weeks 7 and 8 were against a new team that looked easy to blow out. Unfortunately that cockiness backfired in week 7 when the Bay Area Sharks won 1-0 and the second half of the season ended with a series of bad matches and not a single win in the last four weeks. Despite such a disappointing year the team still managed to finish 2nd for the third consecutive season. Some argue that the poor finish was due to a change in the training regime. Javier Udaeta had developed into a supernatural keeper and already turned 21 so training him further wouldn't benefit the team much more. They decided to get even better defensively by working on a group of young defenders. Wingers Esa Simula and Ole Løbeck did not approve of this move because formation changes would put them both out of a job. Løbeck was later sold but Simula expressed an interest in coaching the team in the future so he stayed.
  • Will things ever change?
    • The team made significant midfield upgrades in between seasons after hiring the brilliant Emil Naray and outstanding Christian Stolfi in an attempt to offset the team's lackluster scoring. For the moment it appears to be paying off since the team is tied for first with 25 points but wins on goal differential. Even if they can hold on to first it will take a qualification match to promote.

Best players

Ludwig Ruegy
23 years and 46 days
Has weak experience and poor leadership abilities.
Total Skill Index (TSI): 55 460
Wage: 24 348 US$/week including 20% bonus

Stamina: excellent Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: inadequate Passing: excellent
Winger: wretched Defending: weak
Scoring: supernatural Set pieces: inadequate

Javier Udaeta
22 years and 44 days
Has poor experience and inadequate leadership abilities.
Total Skill Index (TSI): 45 990
Wage: 22 735 US$/week including 20% Bonus

Stamina: excellent Keeper: supernatural
Playmaking: disastrous Passing: disastrous
Winger: disastrous Defending: inadequate
Scoring: disastrous Set pieces: wretched

Rodrigo Aldunate
25 years and 58 days, solid form
Has solid experience and poor leadership abilities.
Total Skill Index (TSI): 40 150
Wage: 11 988 US$/week including 20% Bonus

Stamina: solid Keeper: disastrous
Playmaking: excellent Passing: weak
Winger: world class Defending: passable
Scoring: weak Set pieces: wretched

Performance by year

Performance by season
Season Series Rank Rounds W D L GF GA GD Pts Hatstats LS Stars
32 VI.256 5 5 2 0 3 13 15 -4 20 77.2 1.55 21.7
33 VI.256 2 14 10 0 4 43 22 +21 30 97.7 3.16 27.2
34 VI.256 2 14 10 3 1 58 13 +45 33 115.9 5.53 32.6
35 VI.256 2 14 8 3 3 35 13 +22 27 166.7 8.73 35.6
36 VI.256 1 14 11 2 1 60 9 +51 34 146.9 8.11 42.8
37 VI.256 1 14 12 0 2 69 9 +60 38 124.6 6.22 48.0