Tight Butthole Republic Edition 3
 The first edition of the trophy, before it was eventually awarded to inaugural winners Spartan Curbstomp F.C. | |
| First Match | 09.23.2012 |
| Country |  USA
|
| Region | Pennsylvania |
| Zone | North America |
| Hosts | Battle Toads FC & LOAF'S LOAFS |
| Winner | Middlesex Athletic |
The Tight Butthole Republic is an American Tournament originating in Pennsylvania, more specifically in the suburban-Philadelphia area. The third edition of the tournament started September 23rd, 2012. The group stages finished October 8th, 2012, and the Final was played October 22nd, 2012. Middlesex Athletic beat Battle Toads FC by a score of 3-0.
The Teams
| Team | Appearances in TBR | Previous Best Finish |
|---|---|---|
| Battle Toads FC | 3 | Semifinals |
| LOAF'S LOAFS | 3 | Group Stages |
| Swansea Denver AFC | 2 | Semifinals |
| R.S.V. Hion | 1 | N/A |
| Toxic Rats | 1 | N/A |
| Middlesex Athletic | 1 | N/A |
| S.I. Wildcats | 1 | N/A |
| Saranac 1888s | 1 | N/A |
Groups
The TBR is split into 2 groups of 4 teams
Group 1
| Nationality | Team | Wins | Draws | Losses | GF | GA | +/- | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Battle Toads FC | 2 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 3 | 7 |
|
|
Middlesex Athletic | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 4 |
|
R.S.V. Hion | 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 3 | -2 | 3 |
|
|
Toxic Rats | 0 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 5 | -1 | 2 |
Group 2
| Nationality | Team | Wins | Draws | Losses | GF | GA | +/- | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Saranac 1888s | 2 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 9 | -2 | 6 |
|
|
LOAF'S LOAFS | 1 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 4 |
|
|
Swansea Denver AFC | 1 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 6 | -1 | 4 |
|
|
S.I. Wildcats | 1 | 0 | 2 | 9 | 11 | -2 | 3 |
Playoffs
Battle Toads FC 1 vs. LOAF'S LOAFS 0
Saranac 1888s 0 vs. Middlesex Athletic 3
Championship
Battle Toads FC 0 vs. Middlesex Athletic 3
Goal Scorers
The Teddy Roosevelt Big Stick Award
Introduced for the first time in Edition 3, this award is given to the player that has accumulated the highest combination of Red and Yellow cards.
Red cards being worth 3 points, and Yellow cards being worth 1. There is also a 1 point bonus for scoring in the same match that you received a card, as well as 3 points awarded for instigating an injury.
Edition 3
| Player | Team | Yellows | Reds | Bonus (Goal + Card in same game) | Caused Injury | Total Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Coen Zeeuws | Saranac 1888s | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 4 |
| Jacó do Vale | Toxic Rats | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| Igor Bogliaccino | Middlesex Athletic | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| Christian Stagi | Toxic Rats | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| Eleozar Apolaya | Saranac 1888s | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
| Darryl Wilks | LOAF'S LOAFS | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
| Juan Soto | Battle Toads FC | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
| Homer Flynn | Middlesex Athletic | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
| Sigfred Langseth | S.I. Wildcats | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Róbert Jakubek | S.I. Wildcats | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Jason Fortier | LOAF'S LOAFS | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Sven Davison | R.S.V. Hion | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Peer Hansen | LOAF'S LOAFS | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Tom Harvey | Toxic Rats | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Austin March | LOAF'S LOAFS | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Mikey Balsiger | LOAF'S LOAFS | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Henry Nesbitt | Swansea Denver AFC | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Jorge Posadas | Swansea Denver AFC | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Gustavo Manzato | Saranac 1888s | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Gert-Jan Eliander | R.S.V. Hion | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Andrej Myslik | Saranac 1888s | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
The Zack Galifianakis Effort Award
For the teams who tried, but simply just didn't put fans in the seats (least amount of points accumulated in group play)
Third Edition
| Team | Points | Goal Differential | Goals For |
|---|---|---|---|
| Toxic Rats | 2 | -1 | 4 |
The Ronald Reagan Achievement Award
This award is given after each tournament to the oldest player to have scored a goal (and to have lived afterwards to tell about it).
- Note: A player must be at least 25 years of age at tournament's end to qualify.
Third Edition
| Player | Team | Age at finish of tournament | Total Goals |
|---|---|---|---|
| Luís Alberto Valenca | R.S.V Hion | 31.88 | 1 |
