Funny names
From Hattrick
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Weird Names
- I-Q (5203016)
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Robotic +C34 Range
- Don Helmus+C34 (6021333)
- Menno Helmus+C34 (5541795)
- Boris Helmus+C34 (6095814)
- Quincy Helmus+C34 (6949575)
- Nick Helmus+C34 (5400511)
- Raymond Helmus+C34 (6957296)
- Joep Helmus+C34 (1705960)
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Long Names
- Martin Christof Freiherr Spiegel von und zu Peckelsheim (171982397) - 55 characters, part of the same series of Peckelsheim brothers, has the longest known player name in Hattrick.
- Jasper Friedrich Graf von Bentinck und Waldeck-Limpurg (103391259) - 54 characters, has ended his career, but the name can be found when searched by ID.
- Fred-Bernhard Freiherr Spiegel von und zu Peckelsheim (90041237) - 53 characters, Max-Phillip's and Carl Richard's brother, had the longest (known) player name in Hattrick for a long time.
- Holger Hubertus Graf von Bentinck und Waldeck-Limpurg (192715137) - 53 characters, young bloke tangents Fred-Bernhard's (now outdated) record.
- Carl Richard Freiherr Spiegel von und zu Peckelsheim (47643024) - 52 characters, Max-Phillip's and Fred-Bernhard's brother.
- Max-Phillip Freiherr Spiegel von und zu Peckelsheim (17388545) - 51 characters, At one time, the longest player name in Hattrick. But he was last seen trying to get the attention of a young blonde at a downtown club. His glory days are clearly over.
- Ingo-Wilhelm Graf von Bentinck und Waldeck-Limpurg (124522504) - 50 characters
- Hans-Manfred Graf von Bentinck und Waldeck-Limpurg (50978151) - 50 characters
- Friedrich Wilhelm Freiherr von Hammerstein-Loxten (28651109) - 49 characters
- Othmar Freiherr Spiegel von und zu Peckelsheim (22948541) - 46 characters
- Peter Freiherr Spiegel von und zu Peckelsheim (47746666) - 45 characters
- Harry Graf von Bentinck und Waldeck-Limpurg (100876982) - 43 characters
- Divyagovrsabhadhvaja Gnanasambandan (1235673) - 35 characters, longest first name.
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Short Names
- Oh (28747795)
- Li (70120821)
- Co (72235698)
- Yi (8195188) - fired
- Ko (57585350)
- Ye (149889718)
- Pi (418236) Youth Squad Scout
- (164809796) - no name at first, but was renamed to "Ivan 'Incognito' Belov" later, sold for 1,145,000
Players with the shortest name in Hattrick
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Other funny names
- Adolf Fuhrer (56019363)
- Adolf Wanker (40371342)
- Albert Puto (129049567) - Puto is a derogatory word to Promiscous in Spanish.
- Alco Hol (89588778) - Doesn't show up in search on Hattrick
- Aladdin Muslim (154564544)
- Anastazy Puta (76505431) - "Puta" means "bitch" in Spanish and Portuguese
- Anders 'Saten' Bengtsson (125311786)
- Andreas Kapus (188880862) "Kapus" means "goalkeeper" in Hungarian, but he is a winger.
- Andreas 'Penis' Palmström (80262088)
- Angry Death (78701824) - If you value your life, stay on his good side (if he has one).
- Antal Annus (34180879)
- Antti Kristo (179906095) - shouldn't his player ID be 666?
- Bahti Organa (158606947) - Bulgarian slang for "F*cked your organ"
- Basile Bastard (10937734) - Member of France NT and hopefully not their captain
- Beat Marti (13038570) - Romanian for "Drunk on Tuesdays"
- Beat Loser (31280573)
- Bebeto Canibal (35584615) - Bulgarian for "the Baby Cannibal"
- Béla Foda (13557656) - Portuguese for "NICE F* * K"
- Ben De Cock (91734537)
- Ben Dover (40174093)
- Benito Camelo (133344924) - In English: "Come and touch me"!!!
- Bob (109567443) - appears to be an "Easter Egg" player after the disappearance of Bob Sunesson
- Boe Boe (57984141)- Dutch sounds of a cow
- Boubin (124487279)
- Boy Panda (27631586) - Endangered species
- Brian "75D" Madsen (1530718) - some girls are jealous of him
- Buster Knutson (94499965) - The K is of course silent.
- Can Do (82519327) - that's the spirit!
- Casimiro Concha (71954213) - Spanish for "I almost see a puzzy"
- César Dell´Orto (69630708) - It means "F* cking César" in Spanish
- Chau Keng Chao (161076907) - "Chao Keng" is a Singapore slang/dialect used to describe malingering. Reading his name left to right or right to left, this guy's a true malingerer.
- Christian Wanker (139779402) - Religiously Handy
- Chr. d. VI (930259) King of Denmark
- Cyril Parquet (196997640) In french, sounds like "waxing the parquet floor"
- Cock Bony (36130050)
- Cockatoo Sailor (148413556)- Cock Sailor to his friends
- Constantin Hell (64768415)
- Danielzinho Chupa-Cabra (54267748) - I believe all of you know what "Chupacabras" is...
- Dick Burger (20242253)
- Dick Byrne (80948916)
- Dick Cumming (179582886)
- Dick de Kock (75790006)
- Dick Dick (49705273)
- Dick Frame (153304718)
- Dick Gay (177222295)
- Dick Hamburger (13188138)
- Dick Rucker (80713235) - Rukken (or rucken for some) is Dutch for "masturbating"
- Dick Small (11238080)
- Dick Surgeon (15008633) - You probably have received email from this guy
- Dick Toon (75438709)
- Dicky Focker (60005670)
- Didier Xuerub (23388247) - Xuerub reads like 'penis cutter' in Russian
- Diego Armando Ronaldinho Gaucho (44592828)
- Ding Dong (41917816)
- Eduardo Marijuan (132890390) - Guess what he does in his spare time...
- Elano de la Morena (72968753) - Spanish for "The anus of the dark-haired girl"
- Elroy Hoefakker (133238510)
- Fatty Smeltz (98663775)
- Fan Pu-La (11111251) - Romanian for "I am a big fan of penises"
- Felice Dalla Sega (91241016) - Italian for "happy with handjob"?
- Flip Funk (47694445)
- Fokke de Kok (99823092)
- Fu King-Chou (63742749)
- Gabriel Omar Killer (54732394) - Omar Killer??
- Gal X. Narkis (146448037) - Norwegian for "Crazy (E)x Junkie"
- Gang Jang (96832945)
- Gavin Dorsett, III (92378997) - A football playing king?
- Gaylord Powers (14420151)
- Gaylord Curry (114450279)
- Gaylord Mcqueen (41938419)
- Garip Bugday (47012999) - Turkish for "strange wheat"
- General Mosquito (77693077)
- George Bushaway (145274412)- Bush away!
- Gerald Gay (44914292)
- German Bich (152919913)
- Gordo Cabeção (39982988) - Portuguese for "fat big headed man"
- Guido De Cock (142522985)
- Gustavo Sanguedolce (36541544) - Italian for "I enjoyed drinking sweet blood"
- Ha Ha (112897227) - A true clown
- Ha Ha (100336767) - Practical joker
- Harley Davidson (118225541)
- Harry Ball (57494446)
- Harry Vagana (121447243)
- Hasse Gott (28162320) - German for "I hate God"
- Heiko Freibier (66239315) We all want "free beer", don't we?
- Heiko Naaktgeboren (69979015) - Naaktgeboren is Dutch for "Born Naked"
- Hein Eken (115017524) - Famous Dutch beer brand
- He Suk-Suk (54490571)
- Hennes Diller (109199101) -A lady-boy? In Danish: "Her penis"
- Hong Kong-Beng (54486058)
- Henryk Śmierć (176532726) - "Henry Death" in Polish
- Horst Grosskopf (68330044) - it figures what his speciality is...
- Horst Puta (38213146) - puta is Spanish for bitch
- Hu Huu (6608630)
- I-Q (5203016)
- I Made Meka (120804711) - He created Mek(k)ka
- Idzislaw Wstydliwy (94602042) - try to say his name!
- Iñaki Pedo (36734984) - "Pedo" means "Fart" in spanish.
- Innar Äss (185916996)
- Irving Fuchs (148426669)
- Jack Aas (48706961)
- Jako Kurve (95898286) - Bulgarian for "Nifty Bitch".
- Jan Fiutak (160289059) Polish for John "Penis"
- Jean Jean (28997907)
- Jean Jean-Jean (6142192)
- Jebbe Mather (67732460) - reminds everyone in Bosnia Herzegovina, Croatia, Montenegro and Serbia of "motherfucker" (because it is pronounced in these countries' languages exactly that way).
- Jerker Taipale (29722533)
- Jesús (90309422)
- Jesús Killer (68850295)
- Jesus Lemonade (115601422)
- Jesús Mesías (65666388)
- John Duff (34179311) - Sounds just like "yolk of egg" in French
- Jesús Mohamed (36297079)
- John St John (92847956)
- Joselito Orelha (116297679)
- Kim 'Bössing' Josefsson (125751035)
- Kick Asser (110835628)
- Khoa La (139840581) - Another player to the animal team
- King Koch (44244610)
- Koen Aben (32118434) - Danish for "The-Cow The-Monkey"
- La La (45601760)
- Lance Lance (17866979)
- Lamon Lamon (6668876)
- Laust Mønster (140390951)- Lost Monster, can we sleep well?
- Leandro Lamelo (108969287) - Lamelo means "Suck it" in Spanish
- Li Li (6895133)
- Li On (125868285) - big cat of the jungle
- Long Bearcock (90645253)
- Long Wang (45444058)
- Maik Seemen (30441406) - quite a virile guy for someone getting on in years.
- Major Dumas (32083923)
- Malte Schmuddelwetter (117118751) - German for "Painted beastly weather"
- Manny Doerner-Turk ((playerid|206560946)) - Doener is a turkish food.
- Mana Merchant (23887995) - if you're short of magical power but have some gp...
- Manuel Dick (82149283)
- Marcin Moczygęba (139345236) Polish for "moisten mouth"
- Mario Wanka (38861900)
- Markus Knusperhäuschen (145626366) - German for "small house of gingerbread" (like in Hänsel and Gretel)
- Mate Matika (120680860) - Matematika is math in Slovak, Czech and Croatian
- Mats Engin (25531774) - "Match Engine", often blamed for strange match results
- Max Risk (146108927)
- Max Turbo (57510084) - Quick specialty?
- Maxim Saifutdinov (50927601) - In Romanian, Saifutdinov roughly translates to "I'll f* ck them again"
- Miroslav Puta (34775515) - "Puta" means "bitch" in Spanish
- Mongo Shootie-Pootie (76212580)
- Neema Babla (31976236) - in Ukrainian & Russian slang it means "There is no money"
- Nick De Bhal (83458457) - "Nick the ball" ironically he's a goalkeeper.
- Niklas 'Pupp' Gullander (72386098) - Pupp is norwegian for tit
- Ond (88901609)- Ond = Evil in Norwegian
- Onkel Rosin (49070393) - Danish for "Uncle Raisin"
- Otto Matic (11054466)
- Paul 'Fettan' Herblad (27764033) - Fettan = vagina in Swedish
- Palle Due (37810882) - Italian for "two balls"
- Peer Citroen (120960658) - 2 types of fruit in Dutch: Pear Lemon
- Per Vo (39572560)- Pervo is Finnish, Norwegian and Swedish slang for a pervert person.
- Pian Kuo-Lee (63742362) - Finnish for "Will die soon". Player is currently in a bot team.
- Priest Blocker (141761636)
- Pu Si (6656589)
- Quincy Helmus+C34 (6949575) - the latest model in cyborg footballers, like his brothers Boris, Joep, Menno, Nick and Raymond plays for the team Space Balls
- Randy Hamster (29362136)
- Rens Kosten (8928614) - Danish for "clean the broom"
- Reşit Dikçam (134915700)
- Richárd Gere (162735611) - would be better as an actor
- Riny (72237234)
- Ronny Ballevanger (139463955) - Ballevanger is Dutch for "ball catcher", and yes, he's a goalie
- Rui Sardinha (87150362)- Sardine in Portuguese
- Sacco Weah (110025181) - "Saco e' weas" is Chilean for "idiot"
- Salah Alami (77463344)
- Sansón (81396266)
- Shakes Minge (17539796)
- She He (27100093) - A shemale
- She Suk-ho (121970649)
- Si Weon kee (143404389) - Weon is Chilean for "idiot"
- Siep Heil (99590129) - Sounds German, but is Dutch.
- Sivagnanasundaram Subramanyam (22511755) - He's Canadian...
- Squid Day (128413558)
- Stan Devillers (37033549) - Similar to "Satan Devil", he's also controversial, temperamental and dishonest
- Stanley Duvuduvukulu (40156904)
- Stefan Steffen-Steffen (25873027)
- Sukhebaatar Shootie-Pootie (130376649) - Mongol Uls U-20 international 'keeper
- Thawan Panturattanasriyothin (98217848) - Canadian
- Toby Assman (145290794) - What is he trying to defend?
- Toon de Liefde (39096473) - Dutch for "show the love"
- Tor Jæger (101467049) - German for "goalhunter"
- Tzahal Shote Harbe Kafe (16785734) - Hebrew for "The army drinking a lot coffee"
- Uros Orava (50368918) - direct translation from Finnish is "Male Squirrel"
- Vasily Pupkin (39269628) - in Russian means "John Doe"
- Venkatasubramani Gnanasambandan (11846556) - Other than that, he's English..
- Walter Wanker (25839246)
- Wibe De Cock (49482992)
- Wiet Tabak (90029672) - Dutch for "weed tobacco"
- Wiebe Hilarius (76915321)
- Will Do (164098185)
- Will Playfair (56205506) - Not booked very often by the referee
- Willi De Cock (98299231)
- You Yo-Yo (21908206)
- Yvon Parr (109218491) - should be a golfer, not a soccer player
- Zac Patat (31565424) - Dutch for "bag of chips"
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