Tight Butthole Republic Edition 5
 The first edition of the trophy, before it was eventually awarded to inaugural winners Spartan Curbstomp F.C. | |
| First Match | 12.3.2012 |
| Country |  USA
|
| Region | Pennsylvania |
| Zone | North America |
| Hosts | Battle Toads FC & LOAF'S LOAFS |
| Winner | TBD 12.31.2012 |
The Tight Butthole Republic is an American Tournament originating in Pennsylvania, more specifically in the suburban-Philadelphia area. The fifth edition of the tournament will start December 3rd, 2012. The group stages finish December 17th, 2012, and the Final will be played December 31st, 2012.
The Teams
| Team | Appearances in TBR | Previous Best Finish |
|---|---|---|
| Battle Toads FC | 5 | Finals |
| LOAF'S LOAFS | 5 | Finals |
| Swansea Denver AFC | 4 | Semifinals (multiple times) |
| Toxic Rats | 3 | Semifinals |
| Saranac 1888s | 3 | Semifinals |
| SCV Crave | 1 | N/A |
| SinaloaP4P | 1 | N/A |
| Lockport Jetz | 1 | N/A |
Groups
The TBR is split into 2 groups of 4 teams
Group 1
| Nationality | Team | Wins | Draws | Losses | GF | GA | +/- | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Battle Toads FC | 2 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 5 | 2 | 6 |
|
|
Swansea Denver AFC | 2 | 0 | 1 | 9 | 8 | 1 | 6 |
|
|
LOAF'S LOAFS | 2 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 4 | 1 | 6 |
|
|
Saranac 1888s | 0 | 0 | 3 | 5 | 9 | -4 | 0 |
Group 2
| Nationality | Team | Wins | Draws | Losses | GF | GA | +/- | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Toxic Rats | 2 | 1 | 0 | 14 | 4 | 10 | 7 |
|
|
Lockport Jetz | 2 | 1 | 0 | 11 | 4 | 7 | 7 |
|
|
SCV Crave | 0 | 1 | 2 | 5 | 12 | -7 | 1 |
|
|
SinaloaP4P | 0 | 1 | 2 | 5 | 15 | -10 | 1 |
Playoffs
Swansea Denver AFC 2 vs. 0 Toxic Rats
Lockport Jetz 3 vs. 2 Battle Toads FC
Championship
Lockport Jetz 2 vs. 1 Swansea Denver AFC
Goal Scorers
Goals were not recorded as the statistician, Gene O'Connel, had a heart attack during the 2nd round matchups.
The Teddy Roosevelt Big Stick Award
Introduced for the first time in Edition 3, this award is given to the player that has accumulated the highest combination of Red and Yellow cards.
Red cards being worth 3 points, and Yellow cards being worth 1. There is also a 1 point bonus for scoring in the same match that you received a card, as well as 3 points awarded for instigating an injury.
Edition 5
Please see above comment about statistician.
The Zack Galifianakis Effort Award
For the teams who tried, but simply just didn't put fans in the seats (least amount of points accumulated in group play)
Edition 5
| Team | Points | Goal Differential | Goals For |
|---|---|---|---|
| Saranac 1888s | 0 | -4 | 5 |
The Ronald Reagan Achievement Award
This award is given after each tournament to the oldest player to have scored a goal (and to have lived afterwards to tell about it).
- Note: A player must be at least 25 years of age at tournament's end to qualify.
Edition 5
The award was not given out during this edition due to violent protests from the local senior citizen community.
