Battle Toads FC

Battle Toads FC (228012)

The official logo of Battle Toads FC, also the second logo in the team's history. The current version pays homage to the primary sponsor (KFC) and the home state (PA)"
Birthdate	09.06.2010
Country	USA
Region	Pennsylvania
Zone	North America
Stadium	Deez Memorial Stadium sponsored by KFC
Rival	LOAF'S LOAFS
Fan club	The Swamp Monsters
League	V.54 (USA)
Current Coach	Egoitz Rubio (Since 11-23-10)

Battle Toads FC is an American soccer club originating in Pennsylvania, more specifically in the suburban-Philadelphia area. It plays its home games at Deez Memorial Stadium in Series VI. 766, USA. The team's only rival is LOAF'S LOAFS (LL) also a suburban-Philadelphia based team founded weeks before BTFC. The club's rivalry is notoriously violent ever since the first Derby. There is a memorial statue in the geographic center between Deez Memorial Stadium and The Bakery named the "Stone Tight Memorial of the Fallen." It honors both those murdered and the murderers of the longstanding rivalry. In early 2011 former BTFC midfielder Jim Mann and former LL forward Erin Whitt co-wrote the book "Chronicles of the Tight Butthole" detailing aspects of the rivalry on and off the field. The club was formed by the management group "The Salazar," but purchased by "DICKS" amid accusations of gambling, money laundering, prostitution, and wide-spread drug distribution while operating under "The Salazar."

Growing of the Toads

Formation

Battle Toads FC came about merely through peer pressure and rivalry. Club owner "kazaam026" best friend and identical rival began a club weeks before, "LOAF'S LOAFS." Not one to be showed up the Battle Toads were born. In addition to an elaborate initiation process into any part of the organization, BTFC prides itself on its aggressiveness in every aspect of the game. The team's rivalry with "LOAF'S LOAFS" is one example of that.

The original club was made up of mixed ages and races of players. Most are no longer playing in Hattrick anymore, but many laid the foundation that the Toads pride themselves on. The original BTFC starting playing in VI. 766 four games into Season 43. The team's first game was against the "Tender Danglers." They tied 2-2.

Stadium

Deez Memorial Stadium sponsored by KFC is the arena of Battle Toads FC. The total capacity is 20,100.

The stadium is named after the great Asian entrepreneur, Summa Deez. Deez wanted to make sure everyone enjoyed his wealth and after he died in a brutal jet-skiing accident his will dictated that the majority of his funds be given to the public to build a soccer facility named after him. The rest of the money went to M.A.D.D.

With Deez's $5 Million contribution, coupled with the matching donation from KFC for stadium naming rights, and jersey representation, the stadium was built.

Construction was finished on September 9, 2010. The first game played at the stadium was against cross-town rivals "LOAF'S LOAFS" on September 16, 2010. Before the game there were pre-game ceremonies to commemorate September 11, 2001 and additionally all the victims that had already been killed in the games pre-game hours of the Tight Butthole rivalry.

The stadium has held over 20 concerts in it's 2 years. The Dixie Chicks have played 4 sold-out shows, while LL Cool J has sold out 6 shows.

Deez Memorial is also home to Pennsylvania's Annual Monster-Truck & Moto-cross, Chili Con-Carney Cookoff Circus & Carnival. The event annually brings in over 2,000,000 visitors in 2 days.

At the entrance to the stadium there is a statue that commemorates the victims of "The Tight Butthole Rivalry."

Current squad

NAME	SOLD TO	DATE	PRICE
Alejandro Bejarano	TSV Nördlingen	3-12-2011	$200 000
Arthur Davis	Asgar	12-5-2011	$5 000
Ed Ashcraft	vefasızlar	2-2-2011	$11 000
Ed Mclean	FC Pestkoppen	3-12-2011	$200 000
Hud Urban	Real_United	2-6-2012	$25 000
Prince Kirkpatrick	Little Gamble	8-25-2011	$38 000
Scott Belcher	SAXXON FC	3-4-2011	$100 000
Thad Liles	AC Spartakus	1-25-2012	$102 000
Timmy Tate	FC Chemlab 04	1-3-2011	$2 000

Season Breakdowns

AGE	NAT.	NAME	ORIGINS	SINCE	POS.	COMMENTS
24		Alberto Salgado		9-16-2010	Reserve Defender
16		Alvar Pilbeck		1-23-2012	Reserve Midfielder
19		Charles Vargas	Battle Toads FC	1-16-2012	Reserve Midfielder	Bisexual
18		Claude Koiner	Battle Toads FC	2-6-2012	Reserve Midfielder	Doesn't like playing soccer
22		Conrad Ladner	Battle Toads FC	1-31-2012	Reserve Midfielder
15		Eli Loeffen		1-10-2012	Starting Defender	Team and fan clubs weed dealer
20		Emiliano Obama		7-21-2011	Reserve Midfielder
19		Giovanni Manna		7-21-2011	Reserve Midfielder	Speaks no English
20		Heiko Betzenberg		7-7-2011	Starting Inner Midfielder	Caught in 3 separate instances with prostitutes
19		Howie Harry	Battle Toads FC	8-17-2011	Starting Inner Midfielder	3-time winner of BTFC "Golden Boy" Award
21		Ireneusz Bronk		3-1-2011	Starting Wing Back	Captain
18		James Castro	Battle Toads FC	11-13-2011	Reserve Winger	About to be sacked
29		Jean-Bonoit Lorian	Battle Toads FC	9-7-2011	Starting Winger	Proud teabagger of rookies
19		Juan Soto		10-21-2011	Reserve Midfielder	Meekus
20		Juliusz Fukowski	Battle Toads FC	6-29-2011	Starting Wing Back	Goes by "Fucksy"
20		Leo Kapus		6-26-2011	Starting Central Defender	Strips at a gay strip club in the offseason.
22		Lutomysl Nasierwoski		5-10-2011	Starting Forward	Addicted to vodka
24		Marc Covington	Battle Toads FC	2-16-2012	Reserve Midfeidler	Believes he's the future (is not)
1		Milorad Iličević		10-10-2011	Starting Goalkeeper	Indifferent to this team
18		Mikey Pratt	Battle Toads FC	10-10-2011	Reserve Wingback	Waterboy
22		Murat Aschwanden		11-1-2011	Reserve Goalkeeper	Used to be a woman
22		Rafal Andersz		9-8-2011	Reserve Defender	Excellent fisherman
26		Scott Mosley	Battle Toads FC	9-7-2011	Starting Winger	BTFC Hero
13		Shelby Seals	Battle Toads FC	10-5-2011	Reserve Midfielder	Looked at porn once and now thinks he's badass
29		Timothy Forman	Battle Toads FC	9-7-2010	Defender	Friends with Jerry Sandusky
25		Tyree Swartz	Battle Toads FC	9-7-2011	Tyree Swartz	Huge asshole to most everybody, except women
30		Tyrone Lytle	Battle Toads FC	9-7-2011	Reserve Forward	Extremely mysterious
97		于 (Yu) 永文 (Yongwen)	Battle Toads FC	1-2-2011	Reserve Winger

Season 43

Season	League	US Open Cup	Trophies	Top goalscorer	Goals
43	3rd in VI.766	1st round	none	Scott Mosley	8

The club played its first ever game on September 9, 2010 against Minnesota based team Tender Danglers. The team tied 2-2. The first goal ever scored by the Toads came from Scott Belcher, known already in the forming days of the club, as the biggest asshole in Pennsylvania. Nonetheless the team drank aggressively to celebrate the franchise's first ever game.

The hangovers lasted through Sunday as the team was mercilessly crushed in its first series came to UM Terps. 7-0 was the final score, but it was a dismal performance that included several bookings and injuries. The nastiness against the Terps would continue for season to come. The team would later beat UMT in the season, deemed the greatest triumph the club had ever seen. Obviously, many members of the team were drunk, and played drunk in the next game.

The team would regroup and finish 8-0-2 under kazaam026 and the club called the season a success. This despite a brutal incident involving the club's assistant coach Timothy Sampson, who had to have all 10 of his toes amputated after a terrible incident involving himself and his ex-wife and multiple hot plates. Drugs and large quantities of Four Loko were said to have been involved as well.

The club was very optimistic entering season 44, despite the agreed consensus that opponent UM Terps was "douching it up big time" in VI. 744 for BTFC and rival and accomplice LOAF'S LOAFS.

Season 44

Season	League	US Open Cup	Trophies	Top goalscorer	Goals
44	2nd in VI.766	1st round	none	Scott Mosley	14

Opptomism was extremely high for BTFC entering the season. The club believed it had a real shot to take the title and move up a division in just it's second year. The club was disappointed and defeated by AJAX Arkansas in the first round of the U.S. Cup. BTFC used this as motivation entering VI. season, hoping to prove it could become an elite team. The mood was even more improved after first season game against arch-rival LOAF'S LOAFS. BTFC outworked LL and it showed in the final score, 7-1 in front of a sold out Deez Memorial. The crowd was thrilled by the play on the field in addition to the positive death differential the Swamp Monsters enjoyed after the pre-game festivities.

The team cruised in match play through the new year. In the first of a home-and-home with UM Terps, BTFC drew away. BTFC knew if it could win at home they would most likely advance to D. V. Despite playing the team's best game of the season, a costly injury to leading scorer Scott Mosley ruined the teams chances as UMT defeated them 2-0. The loss was crushing for the club and would lead to a downward spiral among the upper management.

The team lost the last game of the season to LOAF'S LOAFS, which completely deflated the font office, leading to the start of what would be a scandal-filled season 45. The team finished 11-1-2 with 34 points and was destine to remain in VI. 766 for at least one more year.

The team began the NESN Champions Cup Derby with The Boston Blue Devils in this season. One game a month would determine who would be the keeper of the cup for the month. This cup was exclusively used in each team's drinking endeavors and served as a large point of pride.

Season 45

Season	League	US Open Cup	Trophies	Top goalscorer	Goals
45	3rd in VI.766	2nd round	none	Tyree Swartz	14

What began as small scaled drug dealing to The Swamp Monsters started to circulate on a much wider level for the front office of DICKS management. After the bad defeat to LOAF'S LOAFS in the last game of the season the management started spreading drugs throughout the community. In addition, the management laundered large amount of money and was rumored to be involved with terrorist organizations.

The public was in dismay, but was helpless to how popular the team had gotten in the area. The supporters through the players embodied the tough-nosed, don't take shit attitude, the team played with.

However, after a 2-0-2 start, with losses to both UM Terps and LL, DICKS management was out and "The Salazar" took over. The season was already written off after the two losses, so the team started planning for the future - buying and selling young talent to stockpile money for a later run through the divisions.

The team finished 10-0-4 with 30 points, finishing in 3rd with both losses coming to UM Terps and LOAF'S LOAFS.

Season 46

Season	League	US Open Cup	Trophies	Top goalscorer	Goals
46	3rd in VI.766	3rd round	none	Scott Mosley	14

The highpoint in the season would come early as BTFC made a run to the 3rd round of the U.S. Open. With 3 home games the fans and sponsors loved the buzz around the team. The new drug-free management seemed to be just what the organization needed.

Things changed for the worst 4 games into macthplay as LL's flexed their recent dominance of BTFC, taking the first derby match 3-0. It would be a repeat of last year as BTFC would lose both games to UM Terps and LL. The crosstown rival won both the final match 3-0 in what would likely be the last time the teams would meet in Derby in a matchplay match.

The team finished 10-0-4 with 30 points again. After the second loss to UM Terps the Battle Toads began the player cultivation process again, selling off over $3 million worth of players looking towards the future.

Season 47

Season	League	US Open Cup	Trophies	Top goalscorer	Goals
47	in progress in VI.766	still active	in progress	N/A	N/A

In what will go down as the most disappointing season in the club's history, the Battle Toads finished 12-2-0 losing to UM Terps 5-2 and 3-2.

"Embarrassing on all accounts," said general manager kazaam026. "This was not the result we wanted or expected. 48 out is nut up or shut the fu*k up."

The club added talented Croatian goalkeeper Milorad Iličević and from Amsterdam Eli Loeffen, who began dealing pot to both teammates and high-ranking members of the fan club, The Swamp Monsters. He was forgiven for his misdoings as long as he agreed to contract stipulations, which he did.

Players continued to emerge but late in the season after a home loss to UM Terps club manager Egoitz Rubio told members of the media he feared that if he lost another match to UM Terps (which would be the first of the season with the clubs finishing 1 and 2, and Terps throwing their last game and qualification match for reasons simply known as "douching it up") that he will be fired immediately.

GM kazaam026 confirmed Rubio's fears in a press conference 5 minutes later. "48 or bust," said kazaam026, adding, "that's the bottlime with this group. I know people."

Thanks

This page was originally created by RUKENT, thanks for his great work!
Thanks to Unknown_Guy for his Wiki-CHPP application HT-Mess