Twelve Hawks United
Twelve Hawks currently reside in IV.29.
Overview
Twelve Hawks United is a football club, situated in Gloucestershire England. Formed in 2008, the club was briefly known as the Juniper XI before taking on its current moniker. Little is known of where the Twelve Hawks, name originated. The Chairman is famed for giving a different answer each time the question comes up. A few gems include:
"Why did I name the club Twelve Hawks United? Because it sounds badass!."
"The Twelfth Hawk is the fans."
"The Twelfth Hawk was the regiment I served in Nam."
"Its my Native American name."
"The Twelfth Hawk is the referee I bribed."
The club has promoted six times and demoted thrice since its inception. Currently the club is striving to maintain its status as a division IV side.
Club History
THE EARLY YEARS: seasons 36-39
SEASON 36
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Managed By: |
Sir-Mansell |
| Location: | Gloucestershire, |
| Founded: | 09/09/2008 |
| Fan Club: | Twelve Hawk Perchers |
| Highest Ranking: | 42nd |
Prize Shelf:
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Arena: The Accipiter | |
Home Kit:
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Away Kit: | |
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| VII.771 | 1st | 2 / 0 / 0 | N/A |
Little is known about the club before season 36 other than its previous guises, those being Green Street Souljahz, Berkeley Brutals, Norwich City Footy Club, Bullet United, Trillyz Ornz, The Underhill Bees, Fc Huiarid, Fireballs 2 and Oxfordshire FC. These years are known by some of Twelve Hawks United's older fanbase as the Dark Ages. You could have forgiven the fans for viewing Sir Mansells purchase of the club from Antoine Botavia for just a pound, with some pessimism. Little did they realise that the dark days of residing in VII.307 was about to end.
The first port of call was to escape division VII. Due to delayed takeover procedures, Sir Mansell only had two to get a team together before the season ended. Luckily only requiring a point to win promotion, this was achieved in resounding fashion with a 2-4 away win against What Technique. It was a far cry from the performances Sir Mansell would come to expect from this team but it was a start.
SEASON 37
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| VI.148 | 4th | 8 / 1 / 5 | Round 2 |
This season saw a new division (VI.148) and a new direction in what would become known as the consolidation season. With six active managers, it was the perfect time for the team to come together and learn how to perform. Being slightly stubborn in prefering to go their own way rather than look for a mentor, it would be another season before Twelve Hawks began a coherent training plan. But there were signs of things to come with home and away wins over Carlteam 1983, and Tyne and Wear United, securing 4th place in Sir Mansell's first full season at the club. The season also marked the Hawks first foray in the cup. After a 4-1 home round win against Głaz Tychowo, the club met the Big Jags. Then in IV.39, the Jags were too much for the Hawks coming out 0-9 winners. It was a lesson on how far the Hawks had to go. A lesson that Sir Mansell would start to rectify the next season.
SEASON 38
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| VI.148 | 3rd | 9 / 0 / 5 | Round 2 |
Season 38 was to be a defining season for the future of Twelve Hawks. Realising the importance of a decent coach, Nicholas Magri was appointed internally to look after the team. This allowed Sir Mansell to focus his attention on board manners, instead of constantly worrying why the team was not improving. It was a mixed start to the season, with the cup run again a failure, with a 2nd round exit for the second year running. In the league, despite winning their first three games with ease, including an opening day 2-4 defeat of Bad Boys Utd, injuries were piling up. A 7-0 loss to eventual winners was expected. A 1-0 loss to carlteam 1983 wasn't. Despite this Sir Mansell remained upbeat about 3rd place, vowing that they would win it next season. Time would tell if his words would be prophetic.
SEASON 39
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| VI.148 | 1st | 14 / 0 / 0 | Round 3 |
Season 39 was to be the breakout year for Twelve Hawks United. Sir Mansell had identified the need for a younger, fresher team at the end of last season and the off season saw a lot of the older players given the boot. In their place came players such as Imanol Valenciaga, bought for £667 now worth closer to £2million, Celestino Rizzu bought for £150,000 now worth 1.5million among others. It was to be a tremendous season for the fans, as they watched their side promote to V for the first time in its history, undefeated in the process. The Hawks even managed to go one further in the cup, beating Blue Mooners, and Bowburn Crowtreesfc before succumbing to Warp City. Despite the worry that the team was not yet ready to step up a division, the future was bright. Unfortunately the Chairman was about to drop a bombshell on the club that would knock the club back seasons.
THE GREAT EMMIGRATION: seasons 40-43
SEASON 40
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| V.191 | 7th | 4 / 1 / 9 | Round 5 |
Season 40 was to prove bitter sweet for fans of Twelve Hawks United. A roller coaster start of two wins and two defeats, coupled with their best run to date in the cup reaching round five, was producing a guarded sense of optimism that perhaps the club could survive its first season in V. By week 8, the Hawks had nine points, Mission Impossible was looking probable. Then in week nine, rumours started leaking through the media. Chairman, Sir Mansell was moving to Australia. Initially promising that things would be the same, players and fans alike began to worry when there was no word after three weeks. Players were not getting paid, the second string were furious that no friendlies were being arranged, and the first team were knackered having to play every game with no change in lineup. What had promised so much ended in abject failure as the Hawks were relegated back to VI. Who could blame the fans for wondering whether the Golden Age was over before it began?
SEASON 41
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| VI.687 | 2nd | 13 / 0 / 1 | Round 5 |
By the beginning of Season 41, contact with Sir Mansell had been made. A promise was made to contact the club every Friday at 2am to issue orders and sort out problems. Sir Mansell saw no problems with living in Australia and running an English team, often refering to his move as "The Great Emigration." Perhaps unfairly the media, after finding pictures of Sir Mansell swaying on Bondi Beach with a VB in each hand, ran a headline refering to the move as "The Great Pissup." The season was ultimately to be a frustrating one. Winning all but one of their games, scoring 88 in the process, Hawks missed out on promotion by -4 goal difference. The Ginger Foulers profiting on this occasion. Despite this, this was Twelve Hawks best year to date performance wise. Some of the younger talent including Maguire and Fiddaman, were pushing for first team places. Exciting times lay ahead for the Hawks.
SEASON 42
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| VI.687 | 1st | 14 / 0 / 0 | Round 5 |
Season 42 saw the Hawks whitewash a league for the second time in its history scoring 83 goals in the process. For the third year running they were eliminated from the cup in round five this time FC GPA convincingly winning 1-5. Sir Mansell's involvement was minimal, though he had a new excuse, blaming telecommunications and bandwidth restrictions for his reclusiveness. Despite all this Twelve Hawks United were heading back to V and this time they were ready.
SEASON 43
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| V.159 | 6th | 4 / 3 / 7 | Round 4 |
Again this was a mixed season for the Hawks. With only two wins and five losses in the first seven games, relegation was again looming at the halfway point. Twice they had been unlucky conceding winners in the dying minutes, but a strong second half was urgently needed. From Australia, Sir Mansell was able to do a little business, bringing in a couple of defenders and a goalkeeper to lock up the defence. This proved valuable. The second half of the season saw them lose just two, winning two and drawing the remaining three, comfortably missing the automatic relegation by five points. For the first time T.H.U found themselves playing a qualifier to stay in Division Five. Playing Brighton & Hove, they comfortably won 5-0, despite losing Valenciaga in the 11th minute. At the end of the season the Board was to have a defining meeting. It was decided that it was detrimental to the club to have its chairman sunning it up in another country. An ultimatum was handed to Sir Mansell, the club or Australia. The Future looked uncertain.
THINGS CAN ONLY GET BETTER?: seasons 44-46
SEASON 44
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| V.159 | 1st | 11 / 2 / 1 | Round 3 |
With a good deal of whining and complaining, Sir Mansell finally left Aus, arriving just before season start. Perhaps ironically, perhaps just to wind him up Aussie All Stars had just demoted from IV. On paper they looked the strongest of a tough V, voted 23rd hardest that season. With a point to prove Sir Mansell began building a team based around a solid midfield and a brilliant defence. Stats had T.H.U as the fourth strongest side in the division,. But at the half way point the Hawks had only dropped two points. A further draw and the seasons only loss saw the Hawks miss auto promotion by two places, a lack of goals seeming the culprit with only 36 being scored all season. There was further heartbreak in the playoff against Chiswick Rifles, with an agonizing 3-2 loss.
SEASON 45
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| V.159 | 1st | 13 / 1 / 0 | Round 4 |
After last years disapointment, the Hawks were looking to hit the ground running in season 45. A 3-2 opening day win against Brentwood, was followed by a rather fortuitous 2-1 win against erstwhile rivals, Aussie All Stars. This was the beginning of a winning run that would last until the last game where the Hawks picked up a 2-2 draw. The 40 pts they had accrued was more than enough to see them directly promoted. In the cup, Twelve Hawks United fell early in the fourth round to Pirates of the Heavy Seas, a game they deserved more from. It would also be the first time that Sir Mansell would enter Twelve Hawks United in the GMC Cup. After safely navigating the group stage and a tricky quarter final match against Japs XI, the Hawks fell 4-0 to Australia's The Cyclones, in a game that haunts fans to this day. Match ID A third placed victory over Sam Steel FC, capped off a supurb season.
SEASON 46
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| IV.01 | 7th | 5 / 1 / 8 | Round 7 |
Season 46 was a mixed season. On the one hand Twelve Hawks set a cup record by reaching round seven. The league was another matter. Five wins and a draw at home, could not hide the seven defeats suffered away from home.
THE ONLY WAY IS UP: seasons 47-50
SEASON 47
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| V.256 | 3rd | 9 / 2 / 3 | Round 4 |
Having relegated, Twelve Hawks found themselves in a tough V division. Losing 4-3 in the opening game of the season summed up what was to be a frustrating 16 weeks. Eventually finishing in third place, the Hawks were actually level on points with first, goal difference being the killer.
SEASON 48
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| V.256 | 1st | 12 / 1 / 1 | Round 5 |
Putting the previous season behind them. Twelve Hawks were determined to make amends.Sir Mansell dismayed by how frail defense had been the season before promised to build a team from the back. They conceded just seven all season. A sole 2-1 loss was the only blip on a thoroughly entertaining season. Division IV here we come.
SEASON 49
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| IV.35 | 1st | 9 / 2 / 3 | Round 7 |
Season 49 was to prove to be one of the fans favorite seasons. Having automatically relegated the last time they were in IV, survival was the number one goal. However a blistering start saw them rack up 16 points in the first seven games, topping the table in the first half of the season. The second half was not as good, having only taken ten from six,but the last game saw them with a mathematical chance of snatching the title. Amazingly a 3-1 win over Detonation Time, coupled with Bingy Babes losing to Wunderwaffels was enough to see the Hawks as back to back champions. There was some great results over the season including the 6 - 1 thrashing of eventual runners up Wunderwaffels. To achieve promotion however the Hawks had to face Division III powerhouses, Thames Ironworks FC. Despite giving their all, Ironworks were too strong on this occasion running out 5-2 winners . They exited the cup in round seven with a 1-2 loss to Clapton Orient.
SEASON 50
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| IV.35 | 1st | 11 / 2 / 1 | Round 7 |
The previous season had seen Twelve Hawks United win the league on the last day. This season the boys were determined to win it more comfortably, and avoid the dreaded promotion qualifier. A blistering start saw the Hawks demolish all challengers during the first half of the season, and the league was mathematically wrapped up in week 9. For the second season in a row they exited the cup at the seventh stage.
We Can Rebuild Them, Only Better: season 51-54
SEASON 51
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| III.12 | 1st | 4 / 1 / 9 | Round 2 |
A blistering start to the season saw the Hawks go top after three games. However, an aging side needed to be replaced and Sir Mansell made the decision to do so early. Despite battling hard, the Hawks finished in seventh place and relegated back to IV. Reelgation was too much for the board who sacked Sir Mansell from position of Chairman, replacing him with fellow boardman and grassroots cousin Surf n Turf Mansell.
SEASON 52
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| IV.29 | 5th | 7 / 1 / 6 | Round 5 |
Season 52 was to prove a topsy turvy return to IV. Investing in youth saw a new goalkeeper and winger signed as well as younger members pushing for first team recognition. An inexperienced side, they perhaps should have secured third, instead of fifth.
SEASON 53
| League | Position | W / D / L | Cup |
|---|---|---|---|
| IV.29 | 3rd | 1 / 0 / 0 | Round 2 |
Season 53 is currently underway.
Current Squad
(*won in an U20 comp ran by Japs 1471)
Youth TeamTwelve Hawks United's Youth squad is known as the Hawklings. A recent deluge of talent has come from the ranks including first teamer Basil Maguire, who signed professional terms with the Hawks on his 17th Birthday. He is famed as much for his Technical abilities as his nasty streak that will occassionally drop him in trouble. Also keep an eye out for defensive duo Guy Crawley and Osman Rahim who are pushing for starting places Future youth stars to look forward to include Lee Geffen, a striker with excellent pedigree. His partner in crime Alistar Sherman has also been a solid prescence. Also keep an eye out for Rick Denehy. The RecordsSome of the famous and not so famous players from years gone by:
Hall of Fame
Meet The StaffFirst Team Coach.The current coach is Dhante Jacob. Signed as a replacement for Hauskouppel, Dhante still managed to pull on the immortal Twelve Hawks shirt 21 times. He has frequently mentioned his excitement for the clubs future, notioning a desire to see a line of youth players reach the first team. Time will tell if this comes to pass.
Youth ScoutsTwelve Hawks United currently hire three youth scouts, who are constantly on the lookout for top talent. To encourage the scouts a £120000 bonus will be paid out to the scout with the most pulls at the end of the season
The ChairmanSir Mansell brought the club for a measly £1 from Antoine Botavia in September 2008. Since then he has watched his beloved club rise from VII to IV. Sir Mansell is widely known for his eccentricity, as demonstrated at the unveilling of last seasons away kit. Whilst fans have not yet forgiven him for his years sabatical in Australia, Sir Mansell promises he has the clubs best interest at heart. Time will tell if this is true.
The GroundTwelve Hawks United's ground is known as The Accipiter. It has just been expanded to 60'000. The North Stand is affectionally known as The Tony Hawks Stand, though we must stress that this is not Tony Hawks the skater. Obviously this is in honour of TV and radio comedian, bestselling author Tony Hawks. Here at Twelve Hawks United we prefer our comedy on the gentler side. Cheers Tony. |
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