|Full Name||Valdimar Jensson|
Valdimar Jensson "played" for FC Sugar Tits and was an original member of the team.
No one is really sure what Jensson did as a member of the team. He rarely played, logging just 119 minutes on the pitch in the three-plus seasons he was with the club. Some speculated that he was a traveling preacher bootlegging moonshine to the ball boys. One thing is certain: Jensson was an utterly useless player. As already stated, he played 119 minutes in competitive matches, never scored a goal, never made an assist, and never took a shot on goal. It's quite possible that he never touched a soccer ball. Legend says that the area of the bench where he sat was worn so shiny and smooth from Jensson's butt polishing it every week that a man could use it as a mirror while shaving.
Fróðason's first appearance in an FC Sugar Tits uniform was during a Cup match in Season 39 at The Valley of the Gods against Ragnaldo on May 22, 2013 (2/39).
Valdimar Jensson, age 30, was released by the club on Friday May 16 2014 and was last seen drifting aimlessly among the practice fields of his former club. His glory days are clearly over.
Note: Performance stats are for competitive matches played with FC Sugar Tits. Friendlies are not included.
|Season||Apps||Minutes||Minutes/Match||Goals (T)||Goals/Match||Goals (L)||Goals (Q)||Goals (C)||Hat Tricks||Braces||Captain||Man of the Match||GK||WB||CD||WI||IM||FW|
Valdimar Jensson played his entire career with FC Sugar Tits.
None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Ekkert. Nada.