|Full name||Xaver Bruken|
|? - 45||Orgiastic Zürich FC||()|
|45||Lokomotiv Veltem Back-on-Track||1||(1)|
|45 - ?||Beaten By A Girl FC||()|
|Appearances and goals counted for competitive matches only.|
Despite scoring in his first every match at Lokomotiv Veltem Back-on-Track, Bruken was immediately sold as management could not agree with his religious beliefs. The owner of the club was allergic to pasta, not matching with Bruken's belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.