LOAF'S LOAFS Season 50

From Hattrick
LOAF'S LOAFS Season 50 (228010)
LL2.jpg
The LOAF'S LOAFS Unofficial Logo, featuring its slogan "LONG LIVE THE LOAF," also known simply as "LLTL"
Start date 04.10.2012
Country  USA
Region Pennsylvania
Zone North America
Stadium The Bakery
Rival Battle Toads FC
Fan club The Yeast Army (2144 Fans as of 5/10/12)
League V.54 (USA)
Home Match Kits LLMilanKit.png
Home Match Kits LLMilanKit2.png
Current Coach Terencjusz "Terrence" Myszko Polska (Since 11-2-11)

This is the page for Season 50 of USA club LOAF'S LOAFS, which started on October 4th, 2012 with the first round of US Open Cup matches. The team started the season in 3rd place in V.54 (USA), as it had finished there the season before.


Season 50[edit]

Season League US Open Cup Trophies Top goalscorer Goals
50 1st place in V.54 4th Round Division V.PNG Tiziano Caneva 9


The season commenced as LOAF'S traveled to Gotham in Indiana to battle robot TheDarkKnight. The match was a joke, but fortunately Indiana is known for its strip clubs, and the team had a nice bonding session a few hours before the match. With a 5-5-0 formation, the team easily plowed through the bot for a 10-0 win and a nice clean sheet for keeper Russ Fontaine.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
FC Deich Series The Bakery 7-0 LL 1-0 3 pts Lessmeister (3), Balsiger (2), Wilks, Hansen

The first game of the season followed just a few days after the LL robot domination. It was also the home opener of The Bakery, which had undergone a 10,000 seat-adding renovation on Oct. 3 to bring the total to 39,200. The Yeast Army showed up in full force, filling out 99.1% attendance and creating an intimidating atmosphere for visiting rivals FC Deich, which had a dominant career 3-1 record against LL in the previous 2 seasons. Due to incredible hazing of the visitor's bus on their trip from the local La Quinta in to The Bakery, which included empty beer bottles shattering bus windows, and the equipment manager physically removed from the bus in order to be tarred and feathered, Deich's confidence was clearly rattled. This could have been a reason the team sent out just 9 players to open the match, and due to multiple injuries finished with just 8 on the pitch. LOAF'S, being up at least 2 men the entire match, won by a managable 7-0 as German Emmerich "Blitzkreig" Lessteiner scored his first career hattrick. October 4th to October 11th will hereby be known as Robonukah, given LL's pure determination to get things done against less-than-able opponents.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
Rover Tech FC Cup Defender Arena 4-2 LL Adv. to 3rd rd Lessmeister (2), Busquets, Urner

The second round is generally a pretty tight butthole of a matchup. LL had no choice but to throw out their B squad for this one, and boy didn't they play like reserves.

LL entered their next series game at the top of the league, confidence was riding a little too high, and so was the forecast for rain at the strip club. Just hours before kickoff, new acquisition Lloyd Wiggins was spotted at Providence, RI strip club Balloons throwing around, coincidentally, the exact amount that he had made 2 weeks earlier as a signing bonus. In retrospect, LL regrets having paid him in dollar bills. The team went on to have an extremely disappointing 0-0 draw despite being heavily favorited. News arose just days later that the team threatened mutiny if Coach Myszko didn't "Play it Cool."

Just three days later, an mentally exhausted LOAF'S took action once again at The Bakery, this time against Series IV Hawaians FC Kazimierz. The team was brutally dominated, 0-4, in front of a sold out home crowd. Needless to say, the crowd was not too happy. Unfortunately for the administration, that day was the promotional "Retro Glass Bottle Night," which certainly did not help Guido Alvisi's recovery with his broken neck.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
Gate 13 Series Green Hell Arena 0-0 2-0-2 No goals

Perhaps the biggest match of the season to date was against Series V.54 rival Gate 13, a team which LL had dominated last year, taking all 6 points in their two meetings. The team came out fresh, reaching Titanic in central defense, but was unable to muster enough attack to score on an 11 year old's youth team, hence a rather predictable 0-0 draw. Series competitor FC Deich managed a win, and in doing so jumped LOAF'S, removing them from their season-long 1st place position.

Schedule[edit]

Opponent Date Type Stadium Attendance Score LL Scorers
TheDarkKnight, VI.305 10/4/12 Cup Gotham 9840 (12000) 82% 10-0 LL Guido Alvisi, Mikey Balsiger, Edgar Engelen (2), Darryl Wilks, Frederic Busquets, Jason Fortier (2), Cary Dobson
FC Deich 10/8/12 Series The Bakery 38,848 (39,200) 99.1% 7-0 LL Emmerich Lessmeister (3), Darryl Wilks, Mikey Balsiger (2), Peer Hansen
Rover Tech FC, VI.853 10/11/12 Cup Defender Arena 16,985 (100%) 4-2 LL Emmerich Lessmeister (2), Frederic Busquets, Ryan Urner
PoonOnYou 10/15/12 Series Forever 27,055 (100%) 1-0 LL Darryl Wilks
Tampa Bay Raiders 10/18/12 Cup The Bakery 38,278 (97.6%) 2-0 LL Frederic Busquets, Cary Dobson
Spring Arbor FC 10/22/12 Series The Bakery 38,044 (97.5%) 0-0
FC Kazimierz 10/25/12 Cup The Bakery 38,407 (98.0%) 0-4
Gate 13 10/29/12 Series Green Hall Arena 19,117 (34,350 (55.7%) 0-0
Penn State FC 11/5/12 Series The Bakery 24,053 (39,200 (61.4%)) 5-0 Lessmeister (2), Tiziano Caneva (3)
Gordo's Gods 11/12/12 Series Gordos Dome 19,710 1-1 Guido Alvisi
San Marcos Revolutionaries 11/19/12 Series Anarchist Arena 26,910 7-0 Tiziano Caneva, Emmerich Lessmeister, Darryl Wilks, Frederic Busquets, Guido Alvisi, Tristan Elroy, Cary Dobson
San Marcos Revolutionaries 11/26/12 Series The Bakery 38,620 8-0 Edgar Engelen, Mikey Balsiger (3), Tiziano Caneva (2), Tristan Elroy, Cary Dobson
Gordo's Gods 12/3/12 Series The Bakery 39,129 1-0 Tiziano Caneva

Statistics[edit]

Player statistics[edit]

No. Nat Pos Player Total Series Cup/Qualifier
Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals
1 USA GK Russ Werewolf Fontaine 17 0 13 0 4 0
2 Colombia CD Emmanuel Chávez 0 0 0 0 0 0
3 Deutschland CD Anton Eisenfuss 0 0 0 0 0 0
4 USA CD Darryl Wilks 17 6 13 5 4 1
5 USA CD Lloyd Wiggins 15 0 13 0 2 0
9 USA WB Scott Johnson 11 0 6 0 5 0
10 USA MF Cary Dobson 19 4 14 2 5 2
16 USA MF Abel Johnson 10 0 10 0 0 0
20 Italia MF Guido Alvisi 17 4 13 3 4 1
25 USA MF Mikey Balsiger 18 6 13 5 5 1
31 Belgium CD Edgar Engelen 19 3 14 1 5 2
43 Italia MF Tiziano Caneva 9 9 9 9 0 0
46 USA MF Johnnie Valentine 6 0 2 0 4 0
50 USA MF Tristan Elroy 9 2 8 2 1 0
53 Slovenija GK Miroslav Zerak 3 0 2 0 1 0
63 España WI Frederic Busquets 18 5 13 1 5 4
70 USA CD Clemente Arredondo 0 0 0 0 0 0
79 Belgium CD Edje Brink 0 0 0 0 0 0
83 Deutschland FW Emmerich Lessmeister 15 8 10 6 5 2
99 Deutschland FW Ryan Urner 5 1 3 0 2 1
00 Bulgaria MF Andrey Stoyanov 0 0 0 0 0 0
Polska COACH Terencjusz Myszko 0 0 0 0 0 0

Sold Mid-Season[edit]

No. Nat Pos Player Total Series Cup
Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals
3 Danmark WB Peer Hansen 8 1 5 1 3 0
13 USA WI Jason Fortier 8 2 4 0 4 2
86 España FW Àlex Jové 2 0 1 0 1 0


Team Awards[edit]

Goal Scorers[edit]

Playe Goals Series Cup
Emmerich Lessmeister 8 6 2
Tiziano Caneva 7 7 0
Mikey Balsiger 6 5 1
Frederic Busquets 5 1 4
Darryl Wilks 4 3 1
Cary Dobson 4 2 2
Guido Alvisi 3 2 1
Edgar Engelen 3 1 2
Tristan Elroy 2 2 0
Jason Fortier 2 0 2
Peer Hansen 1 1 0
Ryan Urner 1 0 1

Team of the Week[edit]

Every week, series V.54 commissioner Matt Damon announces the top XI of the previous week. Here are some LL honors

Abel Johnson[edit]

Winger: Week 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

Frederic Busquets[edit]

Winger: Week 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10

Peer Hansen[edit]

Wingback: Week 1

Guido Alvisi[edit]

Central Defender: Week 10

Inner Midfielder: Week 11, 13

Mikey Balsiger[edit]

Inner Midfielder: Week 10, 14

Series Table[edit]

LL plays it's 4th season in Series V.54 (USA). It finished 47, 48, and 49 in 4th, 3rd, and 3rd, respectively.

Pos. Team Pl W D L GF GA D. P
1. LOAF'S LOAFS 9 6 3 0 30 1 +29 21
2. FC Deich 9 6 1 2 37 15 +22 19
3. Spring Arbor FC 9 5 2 2 13 6 +7 17
4. Gate 13 9 4 3 2 20 9 +11 15
5. PoonOnYou 9 4 3 2 15 9 +6 15
6. San Marcos Revolutionaries 9 3 0 6 11 32 -21 9
7. Gordo's Gods 9 1 2 6 4 23 -19 5
8. Penn State FC 9 0 0 9 3 38 -35 0




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