LOAF'S LOAFS Season 51

From Hattrick
LOAF'S LOAFS Season 51 (228010)
LL2.jpg
The LOAF'S LOAFS Unofficial Logo, featuring its slogan "LONG LIVE THE LOAF," also known simply as "LLTL"
Start date 24.01.2013
Country  USA
Region Pennsylvania
Zone North America
Stadium The Bakery
Rival Battle Toads FC
Fan club The Yeast Army (2221 Fans as of 18/01/13)
League V.54 (USA)
Home Match Kits LLMilanKit.png
Home Match Kits LLMilanKit2.png
Current Coach Andrey Stoyanov Bulgaria

This is the page for Season 51 of USA club LOAF'S LOAFS, which started on January 24th, 2013 with the first round of US Open Cup matches. The team started the season in 1st place in V.54 (USA), as it had finished there the season before. By the end of the season, the team secured a first place finish, going 12-0-2 in series play for a combined 36 points. LOAFS then played a qualification game against division IV.23 team FC Noe, winning 3-2 and promoting. As a whole, the team went 18-0-3 on the season, reaching the 6th round of the US Open Cup and winning the qualification game.


Season 51[edit]

Season League US Open Cup Trophies Top goalscorer Goals
51 1st place in V.54 6th Rd Division V.PNG Guido Alvisi 6



Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
beisuesteakul1982 Cup beisuesteakul1982 0-6 Adv. to 2nd rd Dobson, Caneva (2), Busquets (2), Alvisi

The wind was strong on the night of January 24th, as the smell of whiskey in a moderately-sized flask keeping LOAF supporters warm was prevalent as they made the road trip to Montana for the first match of the season. Eager to start the season off on the right foot, the game was stopped 35 seconds in as a naked LL supporter (later identified as Lance Bass from 'N Sync) ran onto the field, stole the ball from a dribbling Abel Johnson, and ran out of the stadium alà Forest Gump. He was later found in Helena, the state's capital, singing in a karaoke bar, still naked.

The team went on to score 6 goals and hold possession for 89% of the match (the 11% happened generally when star Guido Alvisi stopped to take pictures with admiring fans). As the 89th minute counted upwards to 90, black wingback Tristan Elroy subbed himself out and was seen sipping on a 40 ounce malt liquor while making his way to the locker room.

The third goal of this match, scored by Tiziano Caneva, was the 500th goal in LOAF'S club history.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
FC Deich Series The Bakery 6-0 1-0 (1st) Balsiger, Lessmeister (2), Busquets, Alvisi (2)

Controversy was high as perennial egg-laying FC Deich came to town. While the manager had set a lineup this time around (unlike last season), an injury in the 5th minute to a Deich midfielder left the team in shambles. LOAF'S ended up winning 71% of possession and never looked back, blasting home 6 goals. After the 79', old-timer Emmerich Lessmeister, upon scoring his 2nd of the match, ran around the field 3 times in search of a fan willing to give him a beer. After finally finding, and chugging, said Michelob Light, Lessmeister immediately pissed it all out all over away team manager Hakan Jorgensson's playbook, yelling in his thick German accent "Oktoberfest came early this year, jerkoffs." He then preceeded to skip his way into the locker room, and, as of a week later, hasn't been seen since.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
Truelav Cup Airstad 1-5 Adv. to 3rd rd Caneva, Balsiger, Engelen, Lessmeister (2)

The B squad fought there way to a tough 5-1 win against series VI Truelav. Afterwards, Coach Stoyanov awarded the team with orange slices that he had bought from the local bodega around the corner. After midfielder Cary Dobson was taken to the hospital due to suffering severe seizures, it was further investigated and discovered that the orange slices were, in fact, lemons.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
Spring Arbor FC Series The Cougar Den 0-3 2-0, 1st place in V.54 Balsiger, A. Johnson (2)

The LOAFS had a history of unsuccessful ventures against Spring coming into this match, so The Yeast Army showed up in full force in Michigan with fly swatters, as "Beat the Pests" was the motto, and a lot more than just pests were beat down during the pregame tailgate. Winger Abel Johnson, hearing for the first time his very own song that the fans tributed to him, scored his first ever career LL goal, and then went on to score another in ensuring a 3-0 win.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
KinKa F.C Cup Tyufuru F.C 0-3 Advance to 4th Rd Lessmeister, Balsiger, Busquets

The 3rd round came and went for LOAFS, as they traveled to California to take on American Somoa team KinKa F.C, who did some sort of wild tribal dance at center field before the game in hopes of throwing off the LL players, who most certainly were not shaken. Particularly Darryl Wilks, who is openly part-Native American and donates a third of his salary to the non-profit organization "TLIOL: This Land Is Our Land", a group with sole intentions of slowly and violently overtaking the continental US using guerrilla warfare tactics. The match was won 3-0, as Lessmeister continued his top form, scoring his 5th goal in as many games.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
Red Ants FC Series The Bakery 3-1 3-0 (Drop to 2nd place) Caneva, Elroy, Alvisi

The Yeast Army will forever remember this date for both glorious and devastating reasons. First, the fans came out to set a LL franchise record 39,519 supporters due to an arena renovation creating 45,100 seats. The nearly 6,000 empty seats, however, came at a cost, as the shotty contracting work led to an entire section collapsing and an ensuing lawsuit filed against contractors DNB roofing, with headquarters in Chinatown, NYC. Around 4,200 were injured in the collapse, whereas the other 1,800 hadn't made it to their seats yet due to an altercation in the parking lot with Red Ants FC fans, as one visiting fan shouted "We're all over your bread, bro!" which led to an eventual walkoff in the nearby abbandoned warehouse, which owners regret having passed on when asked to knock it down, citing that the money would be used for a stripper pole in the owner's box. The team won the match 3-1.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
Striving Knights Cup The Bakery 3-1 Advance to 5th round Caneva, A. Johnson, Brunner

LOAF'S, again setting a record crowd, also advanced to the 5th round of the U.S. Cup for the first time in its history. The historic season only continued to outdue itself.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
FC Alcon Series Chicago Fire Stadium 1-2 4-0 (2nd Place) Busquets, Caneva

What else is new.

Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
Nude Sheep Cup The Bakery 2-1 Advance to 6th Round Alvisi, Lessmeister


Opponent Type Venue Score Record Goals
KARACAS FC Series The Bakery 2-0 5-0 (2nd Place) Lessmeister, A. Johnson

Schedule[edit]

Opponent Date Type Stadium Attendance Score Result LL Scorers
beisuesteakul1982, VI.450 01/24/13 Cup beisuesteakul1982 Arena 10,737 (12,000) 0-6 w Dobson, Caneva (2), Busquets (2), Alvisi
FC Deich, V.54 01/28/13 Series The Bakery 38,053 (39,200) 6-0 W Balsiger, Lessmeister (2), Busquets, Alvisi (2)
Trulav FC, VI.78 01/31/13 Cup Airstad 12,010 (12,010) 1-5 w Caneva, Balsiger, Engelen, Lessmesiter (2)
Spring Arbor FC 02/04/13 Series The Cougar Den 19,448 (27,700) 0-3 w Balsiger, A. Johnson (2)
KinKa F.C 02/07/13 Cup Tyufuru F.C 35,821 (41,000) 0-3 w Lessmeister, Balsiger, Busquets
Red Ants FC 02/11/13 Series The Bakery 39,519 (45,100) 3-1 W Caneva, Elroy, Alvisi
Striving Knights 02/14/13 Cup The Bakery 43,932 (45,100) 3-1 W Caneva, A. Johnson, Brunner
FC Alcon 02/18/13 Series Chicago Fire 16,998 (34,290) 1-2 w Busquets, Caneva
Nude Sheep 02/21/13 Cup The Bakery 40,022 (45,100) 2-1 W Alvisi, Lessmeister
KARACAS FC 02/25/13 Series The Bakery 44,142 (45,100) 2-0 W Lessmeister, A. Johnson
Sleeping Dragons FC 02/28/13 Cup The Bakery 44,833 (45,100) 0-4 L
Poononyou 03/04/13 Series Forever 23,970 (27,055) 1-2 w Lessmeister, Elroy
Gate 13 03/11/13 Series The Bakery 45,020 (45,100) 4-2 W Balsiger x2, Elroy, Irvin
Gate 13 03/18/13 Series Green Hell Arena 32371 (34,350) 3-2 l Lessmeister, Wilks
Poononyou 03/25/13 Series The Bakery 44,554 (45,100) 1-0 W Alvisi
KARACAS FC 04/01/13 Series THE GIANT ARENA 24,934 (30,250) 0-4 w Dobson x2, Wilks, Alvisi
FC Alcon 04/08/13 Series The Bakery 45,083 (45,100) 3-0 W Caneva, A. Johnson, Balsiger
Red Ants FC 04/15/13 Series The Ant Hill 21,185 2-1 l Alvisi
Spring Arbor FC 04/22/13 Series The Bakery 44,965 (45,100) 1-0 W Caneva
FC Deich 04/29/13 Series Thunderdome 21,651 5-0 (W/O) w N/A
FC Noe 05/06/13 Qualifier Alvarado Arena 43,312 2-3 w Caneva, A. Johnson, Dobson

Statistics[edit]

Player statistics[edit]

No. Nat Pos Player Total Series Cup/Qualifier
Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals
1 USA GK Russ Werewolf Fontaine 21 0 14 0 7 0
4 USA CD Darryl Wilks 13 2 7 2 6 0
9 USA WB Scott Johnson 9 0 3 0 6 0
10 USA MF Cary Dobson 20 4 13 2 7 2
16 USA MF Abel Johnson 21 6 14 4 7 2
17 USA CD Steve Irvin 11 1 9 1 2 0
20 Italia MF Guido Alvisi 21 8 14 6 7 2
25 USA MF Mikey Balsiger 18 7 12 5 6 2
35 Deutschland CD Anton Eisenfuss 0 0 0 0 0 0
43 Italia MF Tiziano Caneva 21 9 14 4 7 5
46 USA MF Johnnie Valentine 1 0 0 0 1 0
50 USA MF Tristan Elroy 19 3 14 3 5 0
53 Slovenija GK Miroslav Zerak 0 0 0 0 0 0
63 España WI Frederic Busquets 16 5 10 2 6 3
69 España WI Luis Carlos Acero 5 0 4 0 1 0
70 USA CD Clemente Arredondo 0 0 0 0 0 0
79 Belgium CD Edje Brink 0 0 0 0 0 0
83 Deutschland FW Emmerich Lessmeister 21 9 14 5 7 4
91 USA WB Kendrick Brunner 19 1 14 0 5 1
99 Deutschland FW Ryan Urner 4 0 2 0 2 0
00 Bulgaria MF Andrey Stoyanov 0 0 0 0 0 0
Polska COACH Terencjusz Myszko 0 0 0 0 0 0

Sold Mid-Season[edit]

No. Nat Pos Player Total Series Cup/Qualifier
Apps Goals Apps Goals Apps Goals
2 Colombia CD Emmanuel Chávez 0 0 0 0 0 0
5 USA CD Lloyd Wiggins 2 0 1 0 1 0
31 Belgium CD Edgar Engelen 10 1 5 0 5 1

Team Awards[edit]

  • Golden Loaf: Emmerich Lessmeister, 9 times man of the match.
  • LVP: Scott Johnson, 5 time disappointment
  • Top Scorer: Emmerich Lessmeister, 9 goals (5+4)
  • Top Defender: Russ Werewolf Fontaine, 10 clean sheets
  • Friendly Player of the Year: Ryan Urner

Best Squad[edit]

Below are the best ratings received by an LL player during the season


Goalkeeper:
USA Russ "Werewolf" Fontaine
23 years old
HTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStarHalfGrey.pngHTStarGreyHalf.png
Right Back
USA Tristan Elroy
21 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStarGrey.png
Centre-Back
Belgium Edgar Engelen
24 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStarGrey.pngHTStarGreyHalf.png
Left Back
USA Kendrick Brunner
21 years old
HTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStarGrey.pngHTStarGrey.png
Right Winger
USA Abel Johnson
24 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStarHalfGrey.pngHTStarGreyHalf.png
Centre Midfielder
USA Mikey Balsiger
23 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStar.pngHTStarHalfGrey.pngHTStarGrey.pngHTStarGrey.png
Centre Midfielder
USA Cary Dobson
22 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStar.pngHTStarGrey.pngHTStarGrey.png
Centre Midfielder
Italia Guido Alvisi
23 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStarHalfGrey.pngHTStarGrey.png
Left Winger
España Frederic Busquets
23 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStarHalfGrey.pngHTStarGrey.png
Centre Forward
Italia Tiziano Caneva
27 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStarHalfGrey.pngHTStarGrey.png
Centre Forward
Deutschland Emmerich Lessmeister
26 years old
HTStar5.pngHTStar.pngHTStar.pngHTStarHalfGrey.pngHTStarGrey.pngHTStarGreyHalf.png

Team of the Week[edit]

Every week, series V.54 commissioner Matt Damon announces the top XI of the previous week. Here are some LL honors

Abel Johnson[edit]

Winger: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Frederic Busquets[edit]

Winger: 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Edgar Engelen[edit]

Central Defender: 2

Guido Alvisi[edit]

  • Central Defender: 5
  • Inner Midfielder: 6, 7, 10

Emmerich Lessmeister[edit]

Forward: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10

Tiziano Caneva[edit]

Forward: 2, 3, 4, 6, 7

Darryl Wilks[edit]

Wingback: 1

Mikey Balsiger[edit]

  • Inner Midfielder: 1, 2, 8, 9, 10
  • Central Defender: 3, 4

Carey Dobson[edit]

Inner Midfielder: 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Tristan Elroy[edit]

Wingback: 7, 8, 9, 10

Kendrick Brunner[edit]

Wingback: 7, 8, 10

Steve Irvin[edit]

Central Defender: 8, 10

Series Table[edit]

LL plays it's 5th season in Series V.54 (USA). It finished 47, 48, and 49 in 4th, 3rd, and 3rd, respectively, and is defending champions after winning season 50.

Pos. Team Pl W D L GF GA D. P
1. LOAF'S LOAFS 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
2. FC Deich 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
3. Spring Arbor FC 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
4. Gate 13 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
5. PoonOnYou 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
6. FC Alcon 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
7. KARACAS FC 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
8. Red Ants FC 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0



Previous Season Current Season Following Season
Season 50<< Season 51 >>Season 52